It Starts Small

So far on this journey we have journey through God’s Word to discover He is love and love is He. We have learned that love is the mark of a believer. We have that love is kind and patient. Paul then goes into what love is not and we have learned love is not arrogant, boastful, and dishonorable. Now Paul speaks love is not self seeking. 

The Greek phrase here uses two words. The first is zēteō and means to crave, demand something from someone. The second Greek word is heautou and means himself, herself, itself, themselves.We can out these together to simply say, love is not selfish. 

Someone who truly loves does not demand or insist upon their own way or rights. You never take a thought for yourself to pursue your own interest or state in an action or word. We serve others to not get something but give. We serve with no hope of return.

Paul is teaching us to not look for our own happiness exclusively in what we can get from other people. We should instead be focused on the welfare of others as more important than our own. 

Do not seek your own advantage, comfort, ease, honor, pleasure, or profit, but instead sacrifice it for others. This does not mean we destroy regard for our own wellbeing and completely neglect our own safety, health and welfare. It means we do not pretend to love or do acts of service to get something. I use the word pretend because that is exactly what we are doing. You fool people into the idea you love them or are doing a good work, but your actual motive is yourself. This makes you a liar, manipulator and a deceiver.

Everything God’s Word teaches us goes against the doctrine of selfishness. I call it a doctrine, because selfish people worship and idolize themselves. They only think of themselves and how to gain the advantage, control, and desires of their hearts. This is not a person who honors and loves God above themselves. It is someone who serves evil.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

In our everyday lives, we are a mirror to Christ and cause others to see Him through our actions. 

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16

The trait of selfishness will not shine Christ’s light to the lost world. Those who are selfish will tear down others in order to elevate themselves or to get what they want. Selfishness is a very ugly quality for an individual to have and can do great damage to others. Since selfishness is a sin, it impairs our walk with Christ. Whenever we are actively living in sin, our relationship with Christ will be affected. Selfishness will also cause us to lose friendships and relationships.

One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Proverbs 18:1

We need to always place others’ interests over our own. Jesus tells us to love others as He loves us.

“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. ¹³ No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:12-13

When we love others, we are going to place their own wants and desires over our own. This is ultimately what love is all about — placing someone else’s needs or wants above our own. Jesus shows us the ultimate image of someone who is unselfish and who truly loves everyone by dying on the cross for our sins.

For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

John 3:16-17

A young man is mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew (19:21-22) that allowed his selfishness to turn himself away from Jesus. Selfishness causes us to drift from God and like the young man it causes to completely fall away from God. 

What is God’s Solution to overcoming selfishness?

We came out of the womb with selfishness written in our hearts. Because we are born in a fallen world, we are inherently selfish. It is only through the saving grace of Jesus and the transformation of the Holy Spirit that we can work to fight against the sin of selfishness.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things.

Galatians 5:22-23

We need to intentionally walk in the Spirit and by walking with Him, we get better at producing His fruit. We need to soak our hearts and minds in God’s Word. The more we read and understand, the more we know who God is and strive to be like Christ.

The Holy Spirit is the one who can help us transform our lives. Through His work in our lives we can fight the natural flesh of selfishness.

 I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh.

Galatians 5:16

Paul says, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the evil desires of your heart. It takes a willing heart to intentionally put others above ourselves. As a Christian and follower of Christ, we are commanded to put other’s interests above our own because this is exactly what Christ did when He died for all of us. 

The first step is to turn away from the sin. Accept you are struggling with selfishness and repent of it. Admit you are having a problem. Pray to God and ask Him to help you turn away from selfishness and place a conviction in your heart to put others above yourself.

You can also ask Him for strength and opportunities to help others in your daily life. Reading the Bible doesn’t need to be overlooked either because the Bible contains everything we need to know, including morals.

Turn my heart to your decrees
and not to dishonest profit.

Psalm 119:36

This is a great pray to pray in overcoming selfishness. God answers all prayers according to His will, and He will help you in this struggle. Never doubt God’s faithfulness and the power of prayer.

By truly loving others as Christ commanded us will help us overcome selfishness on many levels. When we truly love others, we will place their needs above our own. True love for others is placing the other person’s interest above our own.

Selfishness causes us to think we should get everything we want, but if we are truly living for Christ, we should be willing to do the things that bring Him glory and to help others. By placing Jesus as the center of your life and by living according to the Bible, you will be able to sidestep selfishness. Choose to love others rather than seeking out your own wants and desires.

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