It Starts Small

I was thinking yesterday about the power of the Holy Spirit in us. I was asking the question: where has this change come from within me? What stopped me from this transformation over the years. I deeply cried out for help and change, but nothing ever seemed to change. I did not want to be who I am, but somehow I just kept cycling the same old patterns. I sat in deep quiet and the word remorse came to my mind.

Dictionary.com says remorse is, deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed. In Latin, mordere means “to bite;” thus, remorse is something that “gnaws” at you over and over. 

³ Then Judas, his betrayer, seeing that Jesus had been condemned, was full of remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders. ⁴ “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,” he said. “What’s that to us?” they said. “See to it yourself!” ⁵ So he threw the silver into the temple and departed. Then he went and hanged himself. Matthew 27:3-5 CSB

Remorse and repentance are not the same thing. Remorse produces sorrow. In the verses above we see that Judas was full of remorse, but then he hanged himself. Lets look at it in the KJV.

³ Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, ⁴ Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that. ⁵ And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself. Matthew 273:5 KJV

Repentance does not produce the kind of sorrow and grief it takes to commit suicide, so what on earth happen here? Notice it says, “Judas repented himself.” This is an interesting Greek word. The greek word for repentance is metanoeo, which means to repent. The word used here is metamelomai. The meaning of this Greek word is a person completely overwhelmed with emotions. This word is used five times in the NT and is not associated with true repentance. It depicts a person who is seized by remorse, guilt, or regret.

Metamelomai depicts a remorse that holds a person hostage because of an act that was committed by the person that they know is wrong. If the person is willing to repent, they can be changed and forgiven. This person has no plans to repent, stop their sinful activities, and rectify what they have done. As a consequence, this emotion produces no change in a person’s life.

Metamelomai expresses the guilt a person feels. The person knows they have done wrong, will continue to do wrong, and they know they have no plan to change their course of action. They are shameful about what they are doing but continue to do it. This bring about even more guilt. Guilt does not produce change in a person’s life or behavior. Genuines repentance would fix the feeling of guilt and remove it completely.

Metamelomai denotes the regret a person feels because he was caught in the act of doing or saying something wrong. The person is not repentant for commiting sin. They are sorrowful only because they got caught. Rather than being repentant, this person is regretful. They are regretful they have to pay the consequences for being caught. If they had never been caught, they would continue to do the activities. This kind of regret produces no change in a person’s life or behavior.

Metamelomai means that Judas did not repent in the sense he was sorry for what he did and wanted to make it right with God. Instead it confirms he was remorseful, seized with guilt, and filled with regret. Judas felt more sorry for himself than he was for the betrayal of Jesus. This was not a demonstration by him of repentance that leads to salvation, rather a sorrow, guilt, and deep-seated remorse that lead to his death.

¹⁰ For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. 2 Corinthians 7:10

This is what Paul spoke about!

Remorse is the worldly sorrow. It does not produce change. Paul says godly sorrow works true repentance. Godly sorrow can produce tears, but it is more than tears. Godly sorrow leads to the cross and true repentance. It produces the desire to make things right with God. It takes the “I” out of the situation and puts Jesus in the center of it. Godly sorrow produces a desire to change that leads us to deliverance, freedom, and salvation.

Metanoeo is a complete turn in the way one thinks, lives or acts. For a person to repent, they must make up their mind to change.

So what is the difference between guilt, remorse, regret, and repentance?

Guilt is a prison that will keep you perpetually bound and unchanged.

Remorse enslaves you in sorrow that engulfs you emotionally and leaves you feeling sad, depressed, hopeless, and unchanged.

Regret is self-pity that is focused more on your own personal loss than on the pain or loss you caused to others or to the heart of God, and it leaves you unchanged.

Repentance is a quality decision to change — and when genuine repentance occurs in a person’s heart and mind, you can be sure the Holy Spirit will release His power to effect change in that person’s life and lead him to freedom!

Are there any areas in your life in which you have felt guilty, remorseful, or regretful and unchanged? Is it possible that you have never made a firm decision to change? If God is dealing with you about something that needs to change in your life, you can repent right now at this very moment, regardless of what you do or do not feel.