9 What makes the one you love better than another,
most beautiful of women?
What makes him better than another,
that you would give us this charge?Songs 5:9
After the bride is wounded, the daughters of Jerusalem question her: “What makes your beloved so extraordinary?” In this pivotal moment, she finds her voice—not through dry theological arguments, but through a fervent, poetic adoration that spills from her heart. She does not merely recount the attributes of her Beloved; she exclaims His breathtaking beauty, His unmatched excellence, His divine radiance (Songs 5:10-16). This worship springs forth from a place of profound intimacy. Her pain has not silenced her; rather, it has purified her praise, allowing her to speak with unwavering conviction after having paid the high price for her love. This is the essence of true witness: it’s not about persuading others with doctrine alone, but sharing from a place of deep, personal knowing that transcends words.
8 More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of him I have suffered the loss of all things and consider them as dung, so that I may gain Christ
Philippians 3:8
Paul passionately mirrors this truth. After contemplating his religious heritage and moral achievements, he fervently declares that knowing Christ transcends everything else. It’s not merely knowing about Him – it’s about truly knowing Him. This is the essence of profound intimacy! Theologically, this marks the pinnacle of bridal maturity. The bride doesn’t just yearn for the Groom – she fiercely defends Him. She delights in Him and joyfully names Him. The Church is called to embody this same fervor. We are destined to be a people consumed by love for Christ, so united with Him that our witness is simply irresistible – not because we hold all the answers, but because we intimately walk with Him.
Psychologically, testifying to what we love passionately reinforces our very identity. As we vocalize our love, it becomes deeply rooted in the fabric of our minds and hearts. When we express our affection aloud, it solidifies its place within us. The bride, by declaring the beauty of her beloved, powerfully reaffirms her own calling and profound connection. Neuroscience reveals that verbalizing our emotional experiences intensifies memory encoding. In other words, when we proclaim what we love, it etches itself deeper into our consciousness. Our language shapes our love with fervor. This is why worship transforms us so profoundly: it not only honors God – it awakens us, rewiring our souls to dwell in His sacred presence.
Her voice has blossomed into a powerful melody, captivating and resonant. Now, others are finally awakening to its profound call.
Journal Prompt:
- How would you describe Jesus to someone who has never encountered Him?
- What words come naturally – and what words are hard to find?
Practical Steps:
- Read Songs 5:10-16 aloud. Reflect on each description.
- Write your own description of Christ. You can use metaphores, poetry, or simple words from the heart.
- SHare this with a friend or family member.
Deeper Introspection Part 1:
Philippians 3:8 is a profound verse where the Apostle Paul expresses his radical reorientation of values after encountering Christ: “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”
Here are some introspective journal prompts to explore the depth of this verse in your own life.
Examining your own “gain”
- Paul’s credentials: Before encountering Christ, Paul had an impressive resume of religious and worldly accomplishments, all of which he later considered “rubbish” (Philippians 3:4-7). Make a list of your own credentials, accomplishments, sources of pride, or things you trust in for your identity (e.g., job title, family reputation, academic achievements, moral record, social status). How have you been tempted to find your identity or security in these things instead of Christ?
- The “before and after”: Reflect on your life before and after you truly began to know Christ. What things that you once considered “gain” have now lost their value to you? What does it feel like to release your grip on those things?
- The pursuit of “more”: The world tells us that more is better—more money, more success, more influence. The pursuit of Christ, however, redefines what is “more.” How has your definition of a fulfilling life changed since you started following Christ? Are there still areas where you are chasing worldly “more” instead of Christ?
Contemplating “surpassing worth”
- The superlative: Paul uses powerful language to describe “the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord”. What makes knowing Christ so supremely valuable to you? What aspects of His character and what He has done fill you with the most awe and wonder?
- A personal experience: Describe a time when you experienced the “surpassing worth of knowing Christ” firsthand. Perhaps it was a time of suffering when His peace sustained you, a moment of sin where His forgiveness felt profound, or a period of blessing when you were overwhelmed by His grace.
- “Knowing” versus “knowing about”: In biblical terms, “knowing” is not just intellectual knowledge; it is a deep, intimate, and relational knowledge. What does your personal, experiential knowledge of Jesus look like? How is it different from simply “knowing about” Him?
Embracing “loss” and “gain”
- The cost of discipleship: Jesus taught that following Him involves a radical form of prioritization, even in our closest relationships (Luke 14:26). Paul’s call to count everything as loss is a theme throughout Scripture. What is a specific, tangible “thing” or ambition you feel Christ is asking you to relinquish? What is the fear or anxiety that comes with letting go?
- Joyful surrender: The parable of the hidden treasure and the pearl of great price (Matthew 13:44-46) describes someone joyfully selling everything to possess something of great value. How can you move from a grudging surrender to a joyful release when you are asked to “lose” something for Christ?
- The ultimate prize: Paul suffered the “loss of all things” for one primary purpose: “that I may gain Christ”. When you think about what it means to “gain Christ”—to be made right with God and to have an eternal relationship with Him—how does that overshadow any worldly loss you may experience?
Deeper Introspection Part 2:
Read Songs 5:10-16.
Song of Solomon 5:10–16 is a powerful and vivid passage where the bride, in response to a question from the daughters of Jerusalem, offers a detailed and poetic description of her beloved. Her elaborate, sensual metaphors celebrate his unique physical and personal characteristics, culminating in the declaration, “This is my beloved, and this is my friend”. While a literal description of human love, the passage is also often interpreted allegorically to depict the church’s intimate and adoring relationship with Christ.
On your relationship with Jesus Christ, your Beloved
Reflecting on his character and attributes
- “Altogether lovely” (v. 16): The bride describes her beloved as “altogether lovely” or “all of him is desirable”. What specific qualities of Jesus are most lovely or desirable to you? Write down a list of His attributes—like His grace, patience, or justice—and reflect on what they mean to you personally.
- The “chiefest among ten thousand” (v. 10): The bride praises her beloved as exceptional and without rival. How do you view Jesus in comparison to all other things that compete for your admiration or devotion? In what areas of your life are you tempted to place something or someone else above Him?
- “His mouth is most sweet” (v. 16): The bride admires her beloved’s sweet-speaking mouth. What are some of the “sweet” words or teachings of Jesus that have brought you comfort, healing, or guidance? How has hearing His words, through Scripture or through the Holy Spirit, affected your life?
- Seeing his worth: Just as the bride had to describe her beloved to others, take a moment to describe Jesus’ worth to someone who doesn’t know him. What are the key features you would highlight? What would you tell them about his grace and compassion?
Responding to his love
- “This is my beloved, and this is my friend” (v. 16): This phrase highlights the dual nature of the relationship—intimate love and deep companionship. How do you cultivate intimacy and friendship with Christ? What does it look like for you to love Him deeply as your beloved and trust Him fully as your friend?
- The bride’s confession: The bride’s public description of her beloved is an act of deep admiration. In what ways do you publicly acknowledge and speak well of Jesus? Are you comfortable sharing your love for Him with others, or do you keep it private?
- From imagery to reality: The rich, evocative imagery of the bride’s description (e.g., “His head is as the most fine gold,” “His cheeks are as a bed of spices”) helps her conjure his image. What personal, mental images do you use to draw near to Christ in your mind and heart? Do you visualize His sacrifice, His compassion, or His power?
Biblical examples and deeper reflection
- Psalm 45: The King’s Beauty: This psalm poetically describes a king, which is often interpreted as a depiction of Christ. Read verses 1–8 of Psalm 45 and compare the majestic descriptions with the more intimate portrayal in Song of Solomon 5.
- Prompt: How does the combined imagery of Christ’s majesty (Psalm 45) and intimacy (Songs 5) enhance your understanding of who He is?
- John 15:15: “I have called you friends”: Jesus Himself calls His disciples “friends,” echoing the intimate sentiment of Song of Solomon 5:16.
- Prompt: What does it mean for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords to call you His friend? How does that truth influence your daily walk and the way you approach prayer?
- Philippians 3:8: Knowing Christ: Paul states, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
- Prompt: How does Paul’s pursuit of “knowing Christ” reflect the same intense focus and appreciation the bride has for her beloved? What is the “surpassing worth” of knowing Christ in your life?
© Kimberlee Smith 2026 http://www.itstartssmall.com All rights reserved.
Need help?
Get in touch
it0starts0small@gmail.com
Leave a comment