It Starts Small

4 How beautiful you are, my darling.
How very beautiful!
Behind your veil,
your eyes are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
streaming down Mount Gilead.

Songs 4:1

The Groom launches into an impassioned and lyrical tribute to the bride’s breathtaking beauty – each line a fervent celebration of her unique features, her vibrant spirit, her very essence. These are not mere surface-level compliments but profound expressions of deep intimacy and understanding. When he breathlessly declares, “How beautiful you are,” he repeats it, as if completely engulfed by the depths of his love. “Your eyes are doves” conveys innocence, purity, and unwavering focus – mesmerizing eyes that do not stray, eyes filled with a serene tranquility.

This is how Christ views His bride, the church. He gazes upon us with the passionate eyes of covenant love, not through the lens of human merit. He intimately understands our imperfections yet boldly proclaims our identity in Him. His love is not merely blind—it is profoundly redemptive. When Jesus renamed Simon as Peter, He wasn’t merely describing who Simon was in that moment, but who he would ultimately become. Christ calls us beautiful, not because we are without flaw, but because we belong to Him. Theologically, this transformative encounter resonates with the very essence of divine grace. God takes the initiative in love. He affirms us before we ever achieve. He speaks of destinies long before we feel deserving. His declarations are not wishful thinking—they are life-altering truths that forge our spiritual reality. Just as the Potter sees the vessel of clay, God perceives us in our process and loves us as whole and complete.

Psychologically, being seen and called by names filled with love is the very essence of our identity! When someone we cherish and respect affirms us, especially in our moments of deepest unworthiness, it ignites a profound healing within us. Repeated affirmations from a secure source not only build resilience but also nurture a vibrant self-esteem. Neuroscience backs this up: when we receive words of love and safety, our brains forge new neural connections that obliterate the patterns of shame, fear, and insecurity! The voice we trust the most becomes the powerful force that shapes us. God’s voice is unwavering, gentle, and life-giving, feeding our souls and lighting our paths!

This is precisely why it is essential for us to allow God’s Word to shape our identity more than our past, our mistakes, or the clamor of the world around us. His declaration – “You are altogether beautiful” – is not just poetic embellishment; it is divine revelation! It is a compelling call to embrace and see ourselves through His loving gaze.

Journal Prompt:

• What names or labels have shaped how you view yourself?
• Which of those come from God, and which need to be surrendered to Him?

Practical Steps and Application:

1. Read Songs 4:1-7 and image Jesus speaking those words over you.
2. Write five truths from scripture that affirm your identity in Christ.
3. Speak them daily. When self-critical thoughts arise, pause and replace them with the truths from God’s Word.

Deeper Introspection:

Read 1 John 4:19.

¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:19

The statement “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19) is a powerful summary of Christian ethics, revealing that our capacity to love is not a human achievement but a divine gift. The following prompts explore the implications of this verse, drawing from various Christian and philosophical traditions to deepen your reflection.

Prompts on receiving God’s initial love

The second part of the verse, “he first loved us,” establishes God as the initiator of love. Our love is a response, not an action that earns us favor.

• Reflect on the nature of unconditional love. The theologian Adam Clarke wrote, “His is the fountain love, ours but the stream”. Reflect on the moments in your life when you have felt this overflowing “fountain love”—whether through an answered prayer, a surprising moment of grace, or simply in the beauty of creation.
• Acknowledge your own unlovability. The preacher Charles Spurgeon highlighted that Christ loved us “when we were still sinners” and when we were at our worst. Journal about a time you were acutely aware of your failings, yet felt God’s love. How does this experience contrast with the transactional nature of human relationships, where love is often conditional?
• Extra-biblical reflection: Consider the parent-child relationship. The love a parent has for their child is often unconditional and a powerful, though imperfect, reflection of God’s love. Journal about a time you experienced or gave this kind of profound, foundational love. How did it change your understanding of security and identity?

Prompts on responding with love

The first half of the verse, “We love because he first loved us,” links God’s love for us to our ability to love in return. This response involves both our love for God and our love for others (1 John 4:20–21).

• Move from obligation to overflow. John Wesley, after his “strangely warmed” heart experience in London, began to love and pray even for those who had persecuted him. He moved from a dutiful religious obedience to a love that overflowed naturally from a heart transformed by grace. Journal about a relationship in your life where you’ve moved from loving out of obligation to loving out of an inner sense of grace and overflow.
• Confront your unloving acts. The author of 1 John connects loving God with loving others, calling anyone who claims to love God but hates a fellow believer a liar (1 John 4:20). Identify a relationship where you struggle to show love. How might contemplating God’s initial love for you—even your most flawed parts—help you extend grace to this person?
• Extra-biblical reflection: The novelist C.S. Lewis argued that God’s love is a “much safer thing to think about than our love for him” because our feelings “come and go,” but God’s love does not. Journal about the times your feelings toward God have been fickle. How can meditating on the constancy of God’s love help stabilize and deepen your own, often-shifting, love for him?

Prompts on love as a transformative force

Receiving and responding to God’s love is not a one-time event but a continuous process that changes us and the world around us.

• Witness the power of love in your life. When God’s love is poured into your heart, it should be noticeable both in your relationship with him and in your relationships with others (1 John 4:20–21). Consider your own spiritual growth. What are the tangible “fruits” of love that have become evident in your life as you’ve matured in your faith?
• Consider the source of your identity. Christian author and activist Bob Goff writes extensively on love as an action, calling people to be “loved people who love people.” Journal about where you derive your sense of worth. Do you try to earn your value through what you do, or do you live from the security of being someone who is already deeply loved by God?
• Extra-biblical reflection: In Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, the bishop Myriel shows profound, unconditional love to the ex-convict Jean Valjean, who responds by giving up his life of crime to become a compassionate, honorable man. Reflect on how this fictional act of grace mirrors God’s love. Is there someone in your life who has shown you unconditional love that led to your own transformation? Write about the ripple effect of that one person’s love.

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