It Starts Small

³ The guards who go about the city found me.
I asked them, “Have you seen the one I love?”

Songs 3:3

As the bride strides through the desolate city, she encounters the watchmen—the guardians of the streets. Yet, even they are powerless to provide her with what her heart yearns for. With desperation etched in her voice, she implores them, “Have you seen the one I love?” Their silence is deafening, shrouding her in deeper sorrow. No words of comfort escape their lips. No guidance illuminates her path. Just an echo of emptiness. This moment encapsulates the profound heartache of spiritual disarray. The very souls we rely on for solace—spiritual leaders, cherished friends, beloved family, or wise mentors—often stand mute when we seek answers to our most profound questions. We look to others to help us discover God, yet sometimes, even within the church, with all its resplendent beauty and glaring flaws, we find ourselves wanting.

¹ How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

Psalms 13:1

This Psalm resonates with the deep, aching delay: ‘How long, Lord?’ The Psalmist captures the intense yearning of the bride, who ardently longs for God’s presence, grappling with the haunting question of His seeming absence. Theologically, this stage illuminates the profound limitations of human assistance and underscores the urgent necessity of personal pursuit. Others can walk beside us, lift us up in prayer, and offer their guidance, but ultimately, it is our own voice, our fervent longing, and our unwavering persistence that will ignite the divine encounter we seek.

Psychologically, this disappointment can either thrust us into bitterness or ignite a fierce resilience within us. When external support fails to satisfy, we are compelled to delve inward – confronting our deepest longings and choosing hope once more. This is the crucible where spiritual maturity is forged. Neuroscience reveals that emotional pain – particularly when intertwined with unmet expectations – lights up the very same regions of the brain as physical anguish. This is why rejection, delay, and silence can sting so deeply. Yet, when we navigate these tumultuous moments in the embrace of faith, they can catalyze profound transformation and illuminate a path to renewed clarity.

Have you ever felt utterly betrayed by those around you on your spiritual journey? You are not alone in this painful experience. Yet, let it not be the conclusion of your beautiful story! The bride didn’t yield to the silence of the watchmen; she pressed forward with unwavering determination. You, too, have that same power within you! God is not playing hide-and-seek to inflict pain upon you—He is beckoning you into those profound realms where only your soul and His Spirit can intertwine in a sacred dance of connection.

Journal Prompt:

• Have you ever felt let down by people when you were spiritually struggling?
• What did that teach you about God and your own heart?

Practical Steps and Application:

1. Write a letter to God about any dissapointment you’ve felt toward spiritual leaders or silence.
2. Rad Psalm 13. Write down questions or thoughts that arise. Prayerfully seek the Lord with them.

Deeper Introspection:

Read Psalm 13.

Psalm 13 provides a powerful framework for navigating seasons of despair, doubt, and spiritual abandonment. The psalmist, David, moves from honest, gut-wrenching questions to a final declaration of trust and praise, modeling a healthy and honest prayer life for believers. These journaling prompts will guide you through this journey.

From complaint to petition (verses 1–4)

• The feeling of abandonment: The psalm opens with the repeated question, “How long?” and the painful feeling that God has forgotten him and is hiding his face.
  • Journaling prompt: Have you ever felt like God has forgotten you or is hiding from you? Write down what those feelings feel like and the specific circumstances that have caused you to feel that way.
  • Scripture reference: In the New Testament, Jesus himself cries out from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), showing that even in ultimate agony, it’s not a sin to voice our feelings of abandonment to God.
• Wrestling with internal turmoil: David admits to having sorrow in his heart “all the day” and wrestling with his thoughts.
  • Journaling prompt: What anxieties, worries, or sad thoughts are you wrestling with daily? Give yourself permission to be honest about these internal struggles, just as David was.
  • Scripture reference: Proverbs 12:25 reminds us, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” Acknowledge your burdens and then bring them to God.
• The plea for intervention: The psalmist asks for God’s action, using vivid requests: “Look on me and answer,” “lighten my eyes,” and protect him from his enemy’s triumph.
  • Journaling prompt: What specific actions are you asking God to take in your situation? Ask him to “enlighten your eyes” so you can see your circumstances from his perspective.
  • Scripture reference: The apostle Paul prays for the Ephesians to have “the eyes of your hearts enlightened” (Ephesians 1:18). Pray for that same kind of spiritual insight.

From trust to praise (verses 5–6)

• Choosing to trust: The psalm takes a sharp turn from despair to a deliberate act of trust in God’s “steadfast love” or hesed. This is a move from relying on feelings to standing on the truth of God’s character.
  • Journaling prompt: Despite your current feelings, what do you know to be true about God? Write down past experiences and biblical promises that remind you of God’s faithful, covenant love for you.
  • Scripture reference: Romans 8:38–39 declares that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, reinforcing this powerful promise of steadfast love.
• Anticipating salvation: David’s heart can rejoice in God’s salvation even before it has occurred.
  • Journaling prompt: Reflect on a past time when God brought you through a difficult season. How does remembering that previous “salvation” help you believe he will do it again?
  • Scripture reference: The ultimate act of salvation is found in Christ. John Bunyan famously wrote that were it lawful, he could pray for greater trouble for “the greater comfort’s sake” that follows.
• Committing to worship: The psalm concludes with a vow to “sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me”.
  • Journaling prompt: What blessings can you find, even in your current difficult season? Take some time to write a list of thanksgivings, focusing on the ways God has been good to you, both past and present.
  • Scripture reference: Even in the midst of trials, believers are commanded to have a posture of gratitude. Philippians 4:6 reminds us to “in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

---

© Kimberlee Smith 2026 http://www.itstartssmall.com All rights reserved.