It Starts Small

 ¹¹ Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me. ¹² I am sending him back to you—I am sending my very own heart. ¹³ I wanted to keep him with me, so that in my imprisonment for the gospel he might serve me in your place. 

Philemon 11-13

A runaway slave is utterly worthless to his master. When Onesimus fled to the bustling streets of Rome, he severed the bond of service with Philemon. Philemon could no longer draw upon the talents and labor of Onesimus. The distance, both physical and emotional, turned Onesimus into a shadow of what he once was. This left Philemon in a state of loss and longing.

he is useful both to you and to me.

Onesimus underwent a profound transformation. The precise circumstances that led him into slavery and prompted his flight remain shrouded in mystery. Many, like him, were thrust into chains through self-sale to settle a crushing debt. Others were seized by the government for tax evasion or alleged crimes. Regardless of the reasons, Onesimus made the courageous choice to escape. Like countless others in his desperate situation, he was engulfed in bitterness, frustration, and seething anger. His anger was not just toward Philemon but also at a world that seemed to conspire against him. Moreover, it appears that in his quest for freedom, Onesimus may have taken money from Philemon (Philemon 17-18). If he returned with such a corrosive mindset, he would be of no service to Philemon whatsoever.

Onesimus had repented

The passage implies that Onesimus had repented. What signs of repentance can you see in Onesimus in this passage?

• Onesimus was boldly returning to Philemon – If he had not truly repented, there was no way he would take such a courageous step. Paul and his devoted team didn’t wield power over his choices. They were not soldiers commanding him. Onesimus had every opportunity to refuse, yet he chose to embrace the path of reconciliation. A change of heart is profound evidence of genuine repentance!
• Onesimus was a transformed man – Once deemed “useless,” he now stood as “useful!” His very attitude and demeanor radiated a powerful transformation. This was the miraculous work of Christ in his heart. It cleansed away bitterness and hate. It filled him instead with an overflowing love that could not be contained!
• Onesimus had served Paul with unwavering loyalty. When Paul spoke of sending him back, it was as if he was sending away a piece of his heart. He longed to keep Onesimus in Rome as his cherished companion. The depths of Onesimus’s faithfulness in service were undeniable. Such remarkable devotion could only come from a life transformed. Onesimus had clearly found salvation in Rome. Now he serves as a shining example of loyalty. He embodies integrity on Paul’s remarkable team!

What do we learn from Onesimus about real repentance?

Repentance ignites a profound transformation in our hearts and actions. Onesimus, once fleeing from Philemon, bravely chose to return to him. True repentance cannot exist in the shadows. It demands that we confront our failures. We must own up to our mistakes and fervently pursue reconciliation.

I am sending him back to you (Forgiveness)

The word “forgiveness” may not appear in the book of Philemon, yet its essence pulses through every verse. There is no extensive theological treatise dissecting the nature of forgiveness. However, this sacred text is undeniably a vibrant tapestry of it. We witness the intense struggle of Onesimus. He must summon the courage to forgive Philemon. This forgiveness addresses the perceived injustices he endured. Only through this profound act of grace can he find the strength to return and confront him. Similarly, Philemon stands at a crossroads. He needs to embrace the spirit of forgiveness towards Onesimus. Onesimus fled and likely took some of his belongings. This narrative calls us to reflect on the power of forgiveness. It reveals how forgiveness binds us in love. It also promotes reconciliation.

This relationship was ravaged by sin. It is an undeniable testament to the chaos that ensues when humanity strays from its intended path. The very bond between slave and master is painful. It reminds us of the fallen state after the rebellion of Adam and Eve in the Garden. Sin breeds turmoil and resentment, leaving behind a tangled mess that cries out for resolution. Forgiveness, a powerful and essential force, holds the key to untangling this disaster and paving the way for authentic restoration. If either party clings to resentment, they will prevent healing. Only embracing forgiveness will suffice to heal the wounds.

Philemon was to receive Onesimus. Forgiveness requires receiving the offending party. Philemon could have refused to have him back. He could have called in the authorities and had Onesimus tortured or killed. Or Philemon could have received him but harbored ill will and sought every chance to afflict Onesimus. Paul asks Philemon to receive Onesimus back as “a beloved brother.” (Philemon 1:16)

Is there someone in your life that you desperately need to forgive? Is there someone whose call you refuse to answer? Do you dread their visit? Or perhaps you turn away from their thoughtful gift? One profoundly important aspect of forgiveness lies in reopening those lines of communication. Embrace that person with open arms! Listen to their heart, hear them out. Or perhaps, it’s you who must muster the courage to reach out. You need to seek reconciliation and healing, just like Onesimus did in his quest for redemption.

Sending my very heart

Paul had formed a deep bond with Onesimus. Their relationship was filled with love and care. This made the thought of parting unbearable. Imprisoned in Rome, Paul faced isolation as many turned away from him, fearing the repercussions of associating with a convict. Yet, Onesimus emerged as a beacon of hope. He showed unwavering loyalty and courage. He chose to stand by Paul’s side. He embraced his identity as a prisoner despite the stigma. In a world that labeled him a runaway slave, he was seen as a criminal in the harsh eyes of the law. Paul reciprocated that bravery. He was willing to forge a profound friendship with Onesimus. Their bond defied societal norms. It illustrated the power of connection amidst adversity.

Believers must embrace everyone with open hearts and minds, free from discrimination (James 2:1-10). Jesus, our ultimate example, devoted Himself to the marginalized and outcasts of society. In His footsteps, we are called to love fiercely, care deeply, and uplift every individual, regardless of their social standing. Let us connect joyfully with people from all walks of life. We should celebrate our shared humanity. It reflects the boundless compassion of Christ!

I wanted to keep him with me

Paul’s heart longed for Onesimus to remain by his side in the bustling streets of Rome. He found solace in their bond. Paul’s heart was uplifted by Onesimus’ unwavering friendship and devoted service. Yet, Paul’s spirit soared beyond his own desires. He grasped the deeper truth that Philemon must cast aside his comforts. Philemon must graciously embrace Onesimus as a cherished brother once more. Equally, Onesimus had to wrestle with his pride, humbling himself to confront the very circumstances he had fled. This monumental challenge called for a profound sacrifice from each soul entwined in this intricate tapestry of redemption.

Each of them was passionately called to embrace the profound virtue of selflessness, as beautifully illustrated in Philippians 2:3-4.

³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. ⁴ Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Instead, embrace humility and recognize the extraordinary value in others. Elevate them above yourselves. Let each of you focus fiercely on your desires. Also, energetically champion the needs and aspirations of those around you. Are you entangled in a relationship conflict? If so, consider what you might need to lay down to pave the way for resolution. Remember, the conflict will likely remain unyielding if each person clings stubbornly to their own “rights.”

---

Cross-References

• Luke 6:31
• 2 Corinthians 5:17
• Ephesians 4:22-24
• Ephesians 4:32

Discussion Questions

• Why was Onesimus useless to Philemon?
• When does “formerly” refer to?
• What had happened?
• Why was Paul sending Onesimus back?
• What can you learn from verse 12 about Paul’s attitude toward him?
• What does it mean to forgive someone?
• What does Paul personally desire to do (13)?

---

© Kimberlee Smith 2025 http://www.itstartssmall.com All rights reserved.