It Starts Small

 ³ In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, ⁵ to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered.

Titus 2:3-5

The Qualities of Older Women

Every single person in the body of Christ is crucial, and older women are absolutely no exception! Just like older men, they might wrestle with the notion that their best days are behind them. However, let me be clear—this couldn’t be further from the truth. The Apostle Paul passionately emphasizes that they are endowed with a vital purpose! Just as the men, older women have an incredible, impactful role to fulfill in the tapestry of the church. God sees each and every one of us; He never forgets or overlooks anyone! A thriving church comes alive when all its members come together. Each person plays their part in perfect harmony. This unity is for His magnificent glory.

The first and foremost priority for older women should be to cultivate their own character. Paul lists the crucial character qualities. Titus must emphasize these qualities wholeheartedly. This emphasis inspires a profound transformation and empowerment in their lives.

• Reverence – The very essence of being “reverent” embodies a profound and unwavering respect! Older women should embody seriousness and dignity, radiating an aura of strength and grace that commands attention and admiration. There reverence is wholeheartedly for the Lord.
• Not slanderers – They must cultivate a careful and mindful approach to their words. Older women, with their wealth of experience, have incredible power. They can uplift others or tear them down. Titus inspired them to guard their speech. This fostered unity and harmony within the church community. It prevented negative words from sowing discord.
• Not slaves to wine – Older women should channel their energies into productivity and purposefulness. Wine, described as a mocker (Proverbs 20:1), can impair their remarkable ability to inspire and lead. Instead, they should create a lasting impact on those around them. They must embrace their role as mentors and guides fully!

Many other essential qualities for older women are discussed by Paul in 1 Timothy 5.

encourage the young women

One vital and heartfelt instruction imparted to the older women here is, “they are to teach what is good.” This directive illuminates the profound relational aspect of the church—teaching is not solely the responsibility of the elders! In many churches, a rigid top-down structure prevails. The paid clergy handle everything: counseling, evangelism, and teaching. Meanwhile, the laypeople are expected to remain silent, seated, and merely “listen to the professionals.” It’s time for a vibrant call to action for everyone to participate and share their wisdom!

Such a mentality plagued the church for centuries, casting a dark shadow over its history. Members were forbidden from reading the Bible in their own language, leaving the clerics with all the power. Even now, echoes of this divide between pastors and laypeople linger in many congregations. Yet, take a moment to reflect on Paul’s bold championing of individual empowerment within the church. He especially advocated for those from segments of society once deemed insignificant! Elders were charged with the vital task of teaching, and older women too played a crucial role. Though their platforms differed, the importance of their contributions resonated profoundly in the fabric of the community.

The older women were to mentor the younger. Their experiences in marriage, raising children, following the Lord, and many other areas were invaluable and vital to pass on.

Note that a mentor is not required to be perfect or to have done everything right themselves. Even their failures can transform into powerful teaching opportunities that guide younger women away from making the same mistakes. There is no magical age where someone becomes “old” and fit to mentor. This process is a deeply personal journey. A married woman can share invaluable wisdom with one preparing for marriage. An older, single woman who pursued a different calling can offer heartfelt counsel. She can provide encouragement to a younger sister still embracing singleness. A mother with young children has the incredible chance to uplift an expecting mother with her experiences. No matter where you find yourself on this journey, remember: there is always someone who is not as far along as you. Your journey can ignite their path forward.

Are you passionately offering mentorship, invaluable help, heartfelt advice, or uplifting encouragement to those younger than you? Have you eagerly sought mentorship and profound wisdom from those who are older than you? The church thrives when we are fervently learning from one another and joyfully sharing our experiences with others.

young women

The qualities that young women in the church should aspire to are revealed. They come through the wisdom imparted by older women. They illuminate several crucial areas, guiding the way for the next generation with love and strength.

Love their husbands and children

Most instructions in Scripture directed at wives focus on the powerful virtues of submission and respect toward their husbands. Yet, it is profoundly significant that this passage boldly proclaims that wives are called to love their husbands deeply. This submission is not a mere obligation but flows from a heart brimming with affection. The beautiful qualities of love detailed in 1 Corinthians 13 should be passionately expressed by both husband and wife. These qualities nurture their bond. Thus, while Scripture emphasizes the husband’s sacred duty to love his wife, it also inspires the wife. She is encouraged to embrace her husband with the same fervor and devotion.

Be self-controlled

A maturing woman must embody self-control, especially within the vibrant tapestry of family life. A devoted wife should rise above her emotions. She must refuse to let frustration lead her to lash out at her husband or children. Yes, the home can be a whirlwind of chaos. Children create messes. They spill beverages and break cherished items. There is even the occasional midnight carpet disaster! In these moments, young women have to firmly ground themselves in the Lord. They draw upon His strength. This helps them navigate the storms with grace and a positive spirit.

Pure

Women are called to embody purity in both action and thought, a powerful testament to their divine nature. The Bible often highlights the importance of purity for men. Men may wrestle more openly with these challenges. However, this passage unequivocally affirms that godly women are to uphold chastity. It is a profound expression of their faith and strength.

¹⁴ But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to gratify its desires.

Romans 13:14

Working at home

The phrase does not preclude undertaking work beyond the walls of the home. However, it fervently emphasizes the home as the heart of her devotion. God designed woman to be a powerful supporter of man (Genesis 2). One of the most profound ways a wife can embody this divine calling is by nurturing her home (Proverbs 31). The complementarian view of gender roles resounds throughout Scripture, celebrating the unique yet harmonious roles of a husband and wife. Each role is not only significant but also cherished in the eyes of God. When both partners wholeheartedly embrace and fulfill their divinely ordained responsibilities, the family thrives in beautiful harmony.

Note that the wife is to “work” at home, not merely sit or relax in comfort. Managing the home is a formidable challenge that demands dedication and unyielding effort, yet it brings immeasurable rewards. This image is very different from the world’s superficial view of a wealthy housewife. She is often seen languishing without lifting a finger while indulging in endless shopping sprees. In the family of God, everyone is called to embrace the spirit of work. There may be diverse tasks at hand, but our mission remains united under one purpose and one collective vision.

Kind and submissive to their own husbands

God has intricately woven authority structures into every facet of our lives! In the political realm, governments guide us. In the social realm, respected bosses and leaders direct us. Elders shepherd the church in the spiritual domain. Within the family, parents nurture children, and wives honor their husbands. This divine order is no coincidence! God is a God of order, not chaos! He yearns for clarity, for a harmonious environment free from the turmoil of competing voices. A household with multiple leaders is destined for dysfunction, just as a home devoid of authority spirals into confusion. Embracing God’s design of a singular, clear leader is the ultimate path to peace and fulfillment!

Wives who are genuinely devoted to honoring God embrace the beautiful act of submitting to their husbands with grace. They do so with a joyful spirit. Yet, let it be clear—submission does not strip wives of their voices. It does not diminish their invaluable opinions. Husbands must genuinely listen and cherish their wives’ thoughts. Equally, it does not imply that husbands can make decisions alone without considering their partners. Instead, husbands are called to embody the role of a servant leader, passionately guiding their families in unity and love.

In your marriage, it is vital to engage passionately with your wife on significant matters. Forge a united front before making decisions. You must strive to reach a shared agreement on the path forward. At times, she may place her trust in your expertise, saying, “I trust your judgment. You decide.” And in those moments, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to respond, “Let’s try it your way.” Being the head of the household means God has bestowed the ultimate authority on you. This authority guides decisions. It ensures that the home operates harmoniously. However, this does not grant you the right to wield this power selfishly, bending circumstances to your will. Instead, you should cherish and love your wife with a self-sacrificial heart. You should nurture your bond in every decision made together.

To your own husbands – This is profoundly vital to understand. Some men mistakenly believe that all women should submit to them. However, this notion is utterly unbiblical. As a woman, your allegiance is not to submit to every man. Instead, you should honor and serve your own husband alone.

so that God’s word will not be slandered

The purpose of these instructions is to guide the body of Christ to follow the Word. This enables them to be a good testimony. They will reflect the teachings and principles of love, compassion, and righteousness in every aspect of their lives. By adhering to these guidelines, individuals will cultivate a deeper understanding of their faith. They will also foster a community that embodies the values of service and humility. This strengthens their personal relationship with God. It also encourages others to seek the truth. It inspires them to embrace a life anchored in hope and grace.

---

Cross-References

• Ephesians 4:12-14
• 1 Timothy 5:2
• Proverbs 24:3-4
• Proverbs 14:1

Discussion Questions

• What do you learn from these verses about the role of older women?
• What does an older woman tend to have that others may not?
• What are some temptations that older women may face?
• What do you learn from these verses about a healthy church?
• What do you observe about the relationships between church members? Are only the elders doing the teaching?
• Why is the example of older women very important for younger women?
• Why is it important for young believers to have a mentor?
• What do you observe is the primary role and responsibility of younger women who are married?
• What does it mean to be “working at home”?
• What are some practical ways that young women can fulfill these instructions?
• How can a husband help his wife fulfill the role of being a worker at home?
• How should these verses encourage an older woman who might be struggling with discouragement related to perceived low self-value?

---

© Kimberlee Smith 2026 http://www.itstartssmall.com All rights reserved.