It Starts Small

5 Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, ² older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.

³ Support widows who are genuinely in need. ⁴ But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God. ⁵ The widow who is truly in need and left all alone has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers; ⁶ however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. ⁷ Command this also, so that they will be above reproach. ⁸ But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

⁹ No widow is to be enrolled on the list for support unless she is at least sixty years old, has been the wife of one husband, ¹⁰ and is well known for good works—that is, if she has brought up children, shown hospitality, washed the saints’ feet, helped the afflicted, and devoted herself to every good work. ¹¹ But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when they are drawn away from Christ by desire, they want to marry ¹² and will therefore receive condemnation because they have renounced their original pledge. ¹³ At the same time, they also learn to be idle, going from house to house; they are not only idle, but are also gossips and busybodies, saying things they shouldn’t say. ¹⁴ Therefore, I want younger women to marry, have children, manage their households, and give the adversary no opportunity to accuse us. ¹⁵ For some have already turned away to follow Satan. ¹⁶ If any believing woman has widows in her family, let her help them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it can help widows in genuine need.

1 Timothy 5:1-6

Don’t rebuke an older man

Timothy was a spiritual leader entrusted with guiding men far older than himself, and while this carried weight, it did not grant him the right to arrogantly wield authority over them. He bore the vital responsibility of confronting false teachings and unhealthy disputes—quarrels, worldly fables, and the wrangling of words. Paul had already entrusted him with the crucial task of teaching against such issues within the church. Strikingly, some of those who required Timothy’s correction were indeed his elders. Nevertheless, he was called to rise to the occasion with grace. The manner in which he corrected was paramount; he needed to embody humility and wisdom. A gentle yet firm appeal would resonate far deeper and be more transformative than a harsh reprimand. He was to engage them with the respect one would offer a father. At times, a son must face the uncomfortable duty of correcting his father, and he should approach this challenge with heartfelt appeal instead of commanding authority.

The heart of our church community beats with the call for humility toward one another. Each person, whether receiving correction or offering it, whether young or old, must embody this spirit of humility. Leaders, in particular, must embrace the profound responsibility of treating others with respect and grace. When we behave with kindness, we create an environment where listeners can engage deeply with the message. This engagement occurs without being distracted by an unkind demeanor. Yet, let us not confuse humility with timidity. Leaders must boldly fulfill their duties. Their authority is grounded in God’s Word. This empowers us to act beyond mere age or status.

Younger men as brothers

What brother truly relishes being ordered around and tormented by an elder? Timothy, in fact, held the advantage of age over some of those he was destined to mentor or guide. Yet, in these scenarios, he must resist the temptation to inflate his own importance. Instead, he ought to uplift them with genuine encouragement. He should treat them as if they were his very own brothers. This approach fosters a bond of kindness and respect that transcends mere authority. God’s Word can be a powerful force, and at times, it may come across as offensive. When you wield it to correct others, you might find them feeling hurt or upset. This reaction is something we must accept. However, it’s crucial that your attitude and tone remain rooted in love and compassion, rather than causing further offense.

older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters

There are sacred boundaries that must guide our interactions between genders in the church. One of Satan’s most insidious assaults against church leaders lies in the realm of guy/girl relationships. We’ve witnessed the heart-wrenching scandals of affairs and sexual misconduct, which shake the very foundations of our faith. Church leaders often find themselves working alongside faithful sisters, offering counsel, prayer, and support. When these sisters are vulnerable and in pain, a man in a position of authority may feel tempted to exploit this fragility. This must not happen! It dismantles the powerful testimony of Christ. This occurs whenever a believer stumbles in this critical area. It tarnishes the light we are called to reflect.

Leaders should set clear and careful boundaries in guy/girl relationships. Lay believers should do the same to limit temptation. These actions protect the church’s testimony. They also provide a safe and positive environment for Christian growth.

With a surge of fervor and unwavering determination on the front end, countless potential pitfalls can be averted! The scandals that have tarnished the headlines could have been avoided. If the men in ministry had taken this issue seriously, they would have implemented strong safeguards. These measures would protect their integrity.

Support widows who are genuinely in need.

Paul fervently believes that the church must honor widows, recognizing the immense sacrifices they have made. This noble intention took the form of vital financial support, a lifeline for those in need. Nevertheless, as the church steps forward to uplift these deserving souls, it becomes crucial to establish thoughtful guidelines. These guidelines illuminate the path for support. This ensures that the funds—finite as they may be—are distributed wisely. The church cannot extend its generosity to every individual or organization that seeks assistance. This is why Paul ardently recommends a set of criteria. These criteria identify the true “widows indeed.” Those who meet these standards will find their names on the list. They will receive the aid they so desperately need. Others who fall short will not. This is a call to act with compassion and purpose, championing those who truly deserve the church’s support.

But if any widow has children or grandchildren

The first criteria Paul passionately emphasizes is that when widows have surviving relatives. Especially their cherished descendants. These family members bear the sacred duty to support them. The church should not intervene to care for widows who possess the vital support of their own families. True care must flourish within the bonds of love and kinship.

Children have a profound responsibility before God. They must care for their parents and grandparents in their time of need. Grandchildren share this responsibility too. This is very different from a modern culture. This culture often shuttles the elderly into nursing homes. It forgets the wisdom and love they have to offer. It’s disheartening that some children are selfish. They prioritize their desires and happiness over supporting their widowed mothers or aging parents. As Paul warns, a family that neglects its own is worse than an unbeliever! This includes those who simply expect the church to shoulder the burden that they themselves should rightfully bear. The church cannot replace the love and care of an actual family. Yes, believers can and should lend a helping hand, but the very first responsibility lies with the family!

Embrace your responsibility to care for your parents when they need assistance. This is especially true when one has left this world. The one left behind may feel alone and vulnerable. I recognize that not all relationships allow for this. Even if they faltered as parents, you must remember to shower them with kindness and love. This is even more crucial for those who nurtured you. They devoted years of their lives to your upbringing. They shaped the person you’ve become. Let’s honor that bond with unwavering compassion and warmth.

The widow who is truly in need

Another vital criterion for adding a widow to the list is her unwavering commitment to “fixing her hope on God.” She must also show dedication to prayer. She must be a true believer, embodying godliness rather than being swayed by materialism. Her time should be wisely devoted to prayer, lifting her spirit in service to the divine. A widow who takes solace in worldly pleasures simply does not belong on this list. She must devote herself to God’s work. It’s essential to remember that this list represents those deserving of financial support. While a widow who may not prioritize serving God is still warmly welcomed in the church community, she may not be the ideal candidate for aid. This aid comes with deep spiritual significance.

A widow ought not to be included on the list unless she has crossed the threshold of sixty. Paul passionately argues that younger widows benefit more from remarrying. It prevents them from sinking into dependency on the church. A widow under sixty is vibrant and hopeful. She is far more inclined to embrace the possibility of new love. Paul even urges that she should be encouraged to pursue such happiness. A widow of this age has greater means. She can carve out her own destiny. There is no need to be resigned to the limitations of age.

 If any believing woman has widows in her family

This is not solely the responsibility of men. Women who have the ability and heart are fervently called to step up. They should support dependent widows. Women must not passively remain on the sidelines while the church bears the brunt of this vital work.

Let the church not be burdened, so that it can help widows in genuine need.

The whole essence of this list is to ensure that widows in genuine need receive the aid they require! Those who can manage without the church’s assistance should not find their names on this vital list. Thus, it is imperative that we distinguish between those who truly deserve this support and those who do not. We must protect the sacred charity of the church. Its resources are not limitless. They should flow into the hands of those who need them the most. Only then can we uplift the community in a meaningful way and create a ripple of positive change for all!

This same principle resonates powerfully in every area where the church supports its people. The impact is profound, whether it’s empowering missionaries or enabling individuals to attend transformative conferences. It also includes uplifting students in need or providing vital assistance to refugees. It is essential for a church to establish heartfelt guidelines that honor the money God has entrusted to them. Remember, these resources are meant for the noble purpose of uplifting the body of Christ! Church leaders carry a sacred responsibility before God. They must utilize these gifts for the advancement of His kingdom. This also leads to the edification of the body. These actions drive us forward in love and purpose!

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Cross-References

• Psalm 68:5
• Psalm 146:9
• Exodus 22:22-24
• Isaiah 1:17

Discussion Questions

• Could Timothy be the spiritual leader of an older man? If so, then why should he not rebuke a person if they needed to be rebuked?
• How might an older person respond better to encouragement than a strong rebuke?
• What happens when a leader crosses boundaries and treats people in an improper way?
• What are some practical ways to maintain proper relationships with the opposite gender in church or ministry?
• How should a church treat widows?
• What does the phrase “truly widows” mean?
• How should families treat widows in their own family?
• What kinds of things should a godly widow do?
• What does verse 8 tell us about our responsibility within our own families?
• Why did Paul set an age limit of 60?
• Why are the qualifications/characteristics in verse 10 important to follow?
• What precedent does Paul set here about how to set budgets or allot money within the church? What kinds of things should a church consider when it decides whether or not to support an individual?

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