It Starts Small

⁸ Deacons, likewise, should be worthy of respect, not hypocritical, not drinking a lot of wine, not greedy for money, ⁹ holding the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. ¹⁰ They must also be tested first; if they prove blameless, then they can serve as deacons. ¹¹ Wives, likewise, should be worthy of respect, not slanderers, self-controlled, faithful in everything. ¹² Deacons are to be husbands of one wife, managing their children and their own households competently. ¹³ For those who have served well as deacons acquire a good standing for themselves and great boldness in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. ¹⁴ I write these things to you, hoping to come to you soon. ¹⁵ But if I should be delayed, I have written so that you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. ¹⁶ And most certainly, the mystery of godliness is great:

He was manifested in the flesh,
vindicated in the Spirit,
seen by angels,
preached among the nations,
believed on in the world,
taken up in glory.

1 Timothy 3:8-16

Deacons

Deacons stand as the second position established in the New Testament church. They embody a vital role in the fabric of our faith community. Throughout church history, a myriad of titles and positions have emerged—Pope, Patriarchs, Major Archbishops, Cardinals, Metropolitans, and beyond. Yet, astonishingly, the Bible remains silent on these grand titles. It shines a light only on elders (also known as overseers and shepherds) and deacons. Elders carry the weighty responsibility of spiritual oversight for the flock. Deacons passionately serve to meet the physical needs of God’s people. These roles are beautifully illustrated in Acts 6:1-6.

Deacons have many vital responsibilities. These include facilities, finances, events and activities, member care, visitation, rent, upkeep, and so much more. It’s crucial to understand that being a deacon is not just a role of lesser significance. It is a calling of profound importance. Each facet of service carries immense weight and often intertwines, highlighting the indispensable nature of their work. The standards for this position are rigorous. They underscore its critical importance in the church. It demands that mature, godly individuals hold the role. These individuals must be truly devoted to their mission.

The qualifications truly resonate deeply, echoing the vital traits highlighted earlier in this chapter for elders. Many of them are strikingly aligned. This includes the commitment to sobriety and fidelity. It also involves the unwavering dedication to skillfully managing one’s household. These principles stand as pillars of strength and integrity!

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• Men of dignity – A dignified man is not just a person; he is a beacon of respect! He embodies honor, bringing glory to the church and to the name of Jesus! He is not rash. He is neither loud, crude, aggressive, nor overbearing. Instead, he is gentle. He is thoughtful and overflowing with kindness!
• Not double-tongued – A deacon must be a paragon of honesty! Jesus declared, “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” This role is sacred, not political. In a vibrant church, there can be a temptation to be double-tongued. One might make a promise to one group and then say something entirely different to another. This is not about currying favor or merely telling people what they want to hear. A true deacon speaks the hard truth, revealing what is necessary rather than what is convenient!
• Fond of sordid gain – Typically, deacons serve out of a deep commitment, without seeking financial gain. However, they often oversee church finances, collect offerings, and assist those in need. It is imperative that the church choose men of impeccable character! With opportunities for theft lurking, churches must be vigilant. At the same time, transparent standards must be established to prevent shady activities and to shield deacons from false accusations!
• Holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience – Deacons MUST be believers! Sadly, spiritual character is not always the primary factor in their selection. Sometimes tenure or economic status overshadows true spirituality. When spiritual qualities are dismissed in favor of pragmatic concerns, the entire body suffers! Deacons must latch onto the mystery of faith, fully believe in the gospel, and uphold orthodox doctrine with unwavering passion!
• These men – The qualifications clearly indicate that a deacon should be male. Verse 11 is often interpreted as “wives,” but remember, deacons are servants! In certain instances, a woman’s authority is not in question (1 Timothy 2:12). In these cases, it is indeed acceptable for a woman to rise as a deaconess. She brings her unique strength and compassion to the role!
• They must be tested first – A church must never rush into appointing deacons (or elders). Candidates should be observed over a significant period. As time unfolds, their faithfulness, commitment, and true character will shine through! Just as in the parable of the seeds, where some withered away, so too can those who spring up too quickly fail to endure! Time nurtures roots, helping to

Verse 11 passionately outlines the elevated standards expected of women. It may describe the essential qualities of a deaconess. However, it resonates more profoundly with the attributes that a deacon’s wife should embody. This interpretation gains further strength. Verse 12 seamlessly extends the list of virtues for a deacon. It even explicitly states “husband of one wife.” Paul did not intend to address an entirely separate group. He would not have woven this context into a deacon’s qualifications if that were the case. He did not mean women deaconesses.

Jesus proclaimed in Luke 16:10, “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.” Managing one’s household is undeniably significant. Yet, it is a stepping stone compared to the monumental task of shepherding a church. A man who shows unwavering faithfulness in nurturing his own family is likely to be a devoted leader within a church community. In stark contrast, if his children are unruly, how can he be trusted? How can he care for the spiritual well-being of others?

You can uncover profound insights into a person’s character by watching how he treats his family. Is he unkind to his wife, or does he shower her with love and respect? Is he a patient father, or does he raise his voice loudly in public, exposing a lack of control? Does he indulge his children, allowing them to roam without boundaries? Do they genuinely admire him, or do they merely fear his presence? Tragically, some ministers neglect their own families. They become so consumed by ministry in a misguided quest to serve the church. As a result, they forget their sacred duty at home. This passage passionately proclaims that such neglect is utterly wrong—the family must always come first!

What about a father whose grown-up children have strayed into the wilderness of their choices? When kids share the same home, their actions are a mirror reflecting their parents’ guidance or lack thereof. It’s utterly heartbreaking to see that their parents carry this profound burden. Truly wise and devoted parents will actively engage with and nurture their children. They fiercely strive to steer them away from such destructive behaviors. For indeed, all children possess flaws. Even the most diligent parents cannot fully shield them from the occasional misstep.

A parent can fervently pray for their child. They can passionately teach and lovingly model the knowledge of God. They can do everything within their power to instill this knowledge. Still, it’s entirely possible to see that child grow up and tragically turn away from Him. The child may rebel against all that they’ve shown. A man should not be deemed unqualified as an elder merely because his grown child is straying from the faith. He becomes unqualified if his children at home are, in general, defiantly rebellious or completely out of control.

Serving God faithfully is not just a duty; it’s a profound privilege that rewards the soul in ways unimaginable. God lifts up and blesses those who dedicate themselves to Him, illuminating their paths with His grace. It’s essential to recognize that not all who serve God with fervor achieve high positions in their churches or communities. Throughout history, valiant souls like John Bunyan and William Tyndale have faced persecution and imprisonment for their unwavering faith. This “high standing” should be understood as a reflection of God’s esteem rather than the fleeting approval of man. Let us be vigilant not to serve merely for the applause of others, as Scripture boldly reminds us in Acts 5:29.

In the closing verses for today, Paul relentlessly hammers home his core theme from chapter 2: “how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God.” He hasn’t held back in discussing prayer, worship, women’s roles, authority, elders, deacons, and the families of leaders. And guess what? He’s only just getting started, with even more revelations about church life in the upcoming chapters.

Now, how about you? Are you ready to apply the lessons from this passage? What about your church—are the principles here just another reading assignment, or will they spark real change? The standards set for deacons serve as a yardstick for every believer. Which one do you think you need to tackle head-on? Is there something concrete you can do in the coming week to elevate your life in these crucial areas?

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Cross-References

• Acts 6:1-6
• Philippians 1:1
• 1 Peter 4:10
• Acts 20:35
• Matthew 20:28
• Matthew 23:11

Discussion Questions

• What is a deacon?
• What is the difference between a deacon and an elder?
• What kinds of things are deacons responsible for?
• What do you notice about the similarities of the qualifications of the two groups?
• Are there any differences in qualifications?
• What does it mean to be a “man of dignity?”
• What is an example of being double-tongued?
• Why do you think Paul mentions addiction to wine in both lists?
• What is the “mystery of the faith?” (verse 9)
• How would you go about testing a deacon? Why is this testing phase important?
• In verse 11 are these women deacons or wives of deacons or something else?
• According to this passage would you say women should be deacons?
• What does it look like when a man is a “good manager” of his family?
• What happens to deacons who serve faithfully?
• What does verse 16 mean?

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