It Starts Small

²⁰ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Colossians 3:20

Children are commanded to obey their parents, and this is a truth that cannot be overlooked! For parents, this means you must unequivocally expect and require your children to follow your guidance. You are not helping them by letting them roam free. Allowing them to indulge in whatever they desire is not beneficial, despite what contemporary society might suggest. The morals children learn in their formative years shape their character’s essence. Respect for authority taught during this time influences them for a lifetime. Beware of the insidious new age philosophy that tells parents to never say “no” to their children! This is a dangerous deception. It is a lie born from darkness. It wreaks havoc on the very foundations of family and society. Raising children correctly is an immense responsibility, a daunting challenge! Children must obey their parents. Often, parents hold the key to ensuring this. When kids routinely rebel, it reflects a failure in training—a crucial lesson to embrace wholeheartedly.

Obeying one’s parents is not just a simple command; it’s a divine directive from God Himself! “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1) carries a sense of urgency. It speaks to the core of family values. The call to obey is beautifully intertwined with the heartfelt obligation to “honor” them. Ephesians 6:2–3 emphatically states: “‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first command with a promise—‘so that it may go well with you.’ This ensures that you may enjoy long life on earth.” Honor is a profound reflection of your respect and admiration for your parents, conveyed through your actions and behaviors. Remember, obedience must be infused with a spirit of honor. Mere grudging compliance falls short of what this sacred command truly means!

It can be incredibly challenging for children to learn the profound importance of obeying and honoring their parents. For some, it feels like a monumental task! There is a powerful and compelling reason for this command. The wisdom imparted through listening to one’s parents is invaluable. Proverbs teaches us this important lesson.

13 A wise son heeds his father’s instruction,
    but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.

Proverbs 13:1

Children are called to honor and obey their parents as they journey through life. This is God’s magnificent design. It shapes them into wise individuals! As they cultivate respect within the nurturing confines of home, they will learn to radiate that same respect to others. They will do this when they venture into the world. Even the young Jesus, the Son of God Himself, humbly obeyed His earthly parents. In doing so, He flourished in wisdom (Luke 2:51-52). The Bible passionately warns us. Children who resist discipline or disregard their parents face serious disadvantages in life (see Proverbs 22:15; 19:18; and 29:15).

Are adults truly bound to obey their parents? The scripture states “children,” yet the Greek term lacks specificity regarding age. Considering Genesis 2:24, it is entirely reasonable to assert that children ought to respect their parents. This respect is important until they establish their independence—traditionally marked by marriage. However, even as adults, a profound honor towards our parents remains essential, even if absolute obedience is not mandatory.

Please note, that we are not to obey a parent who would cause us to sin against the Lord or purposefully go against the Lord and His commands. Parents who are not living for the Lord or living in His ways can still be honored. We can allow the Lord to build healthy boundaries in that relationship. We can pray for them. We can remove them from having footholds in our lives. We can share the Lord with them and speak truth to them. Honoring parents who have abused you can mean cutting them off to not allow that abuse to cycle into your own home or family. Honoring them is allowing the Lord to heal your heart and speak truth over that relationship. Honoring them is holding them accountable for their actions and words while also forgiving them. Parents who chose to not accept responsibility are given to the Lord to deal with and you can walk in the spirit of forgiveness. Pray for their repentance. Pray for them to turn away from their way and to Jesus.

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Cross References:

• Proverbs 17:6
• Proverbs 22:6
• Mark 10:14

Discussion Questions:

• What are children commanded to do?
• Why is it important to follow the structure of authority in the family outlined in this passage?
• What is true obedience?
• Why should children obey their parents?
• Does this command apply to adults whose parents are still living? Why or why not?
• What important check for parents is given here? Why is this important?

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