It Starts Small

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands

God has intricately crafted authority structures in every facet of our lives! He has established rightful authorities in the political realm (governments). In the social domain, they are bosses and masters. In the spiritual space, elders lead the church. Within families, parents guide children and wives honor their husbands. This revelation should ignite our hearts, for it reflects the nature of our God—an orderly and purposeful Creator!

He yearns for clarity and harmony, not confusion or chaos. The discord that erupts when multiple leaders clash over who holds the reins is intolerable. A home can only thrive under one guiding force, just as it falters without a leader at the helm. Embracing God’s divine design of a singular, resolute head is the ultimate blueprint for a flourishing household.

As to the Lord

Here, Paul powerfully underscores the profound level of submission that wives are called to show towards their husbands. It is a lofty standard indeed! They are to honor and obey their husbands as if the Lord Himself were guiding them. God desires us to submit to Him with joy. He does not want us to murmur. He fervently wishes for wives to embrace that same spirit of reverence and love in their relationships.

Submission is not manipulating, deception, arguing, complaining, or nagging. Wives who truly seek to honor God will submit graciously and with a sweet spirit.

At the same time, submission does not imply that wives should stifle their voices. Nor does it mean that husbands should disregard their partners’ thoughts and feelings. It is far from a one-sided affair. True partnership demands that husbands actively engage with their wives. They should value their insights and emotions. Husbands should never impose decisions unilaterally, for it is through mutual respect and shared dialogue that love flourishes and thrives.

Being the head of the household is a sacred calling, entrusted by God to the husband, ensuring that the family operates in harmony and order. This divine authority is not a license for selfishness or personal gain. Instead, it is a profound responsibility to lead with love, compassion, and wisdom. The aim is to foster an environment where every member thrives and flourishes together.

A marriage is an exhilarating journey, much like a basketball team ignited by passion. Each player uniquely contributes to the vibrant tapestry of the game. They unite in an exhilarating dance, striving together with fervor towards a shared dream. This profound harmony and unwavering teamwork not only fill the gaps of an individual. They also amplify each person’s strengths to dazzling heights. One player cannot conquer the game alone. A team thrives in the electric bond they share. They lift each other up in a spectacular display of togetherness.

This beautifully parallels the divine blueprint God has established for the church and the sacred institution of marriage. In today’s world, many modern women resist the notion of honoring and submitting to their husbands. They believe it implies they are somehow inferior or less significant. Yet, this is not true. Embracing this role is a demonstration of strength. It shows respect and mutual value in a partnership designed by God.

²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:28

God has intricately designed unique roles for men and women. These roles are complementary, akin to the dynamic duo of salt and pepper. Each possesses its own vital function, but together, they create a powerful harmony that enhances their true essence.

Wives submit to you own husbands

This is vital because some men desire all women to submit to them, but that is unbiblical. As a woman, you owe no obligation to submit to every man. Your commitment lies solely with your own husband if you are married. This profound relationship takes precedence over any workplace hierarchy. When faced with conflicting demands from your husband and your boss, remember this: your husband’s wishes must guide your choices.

This relationship is not just important; it reigns supreme above all others, including the bond with your parents. The moment you say “I do,” you forge a powerful new family unit, as celebrated in Genesis 2:24. There will be moments when your parents express their desires. They might suggest a particular job. They may urge a move to a specific city or recommend a school for your children. But in these pivotal times, remember that your husband’s voice must guide you. Embrace his leadership with fierce loyalty. Gently yet firmly, honor your parents’ wishes by choosing the path you both believe in together.

At the same time, you are wonderfully free, not bound by the expectations of every man! A Christian sister holds a unique position of strength when she is single. She is under the loving guidance of her parents. She enjoys the nurturing embrace of her church. With fervor, a single sister should seek out the church for profound Christian guidance. She should willingly place herself under the divine authority of its leaders. These leaders are there to support her spiritual journey.

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Cross-References

• 1 Peter 3:1
• Titus 2:5
• Colossians 3:18
• Genesis 3:16
• 1 Corinthians 11:3

Reflective Questions:

• What does it mean that wives should be subject to their own husbands?
• What is the significance of “own”?
• To what degree should they subject themselves?
• What if they disagree?
• What if they have a better idea?
• What if the husband is an unbeliever?
• What does it mean that the husband is head?
• Can there be two heads?
• Some say that the husband is the head, but the wife is the neck who turns the head.
• Do you think this approach is right?
• What is the difference between the Bible’s approach and the worlds?
• In what areas should the wife be subject to her husband?r?

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²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 

Ephesians 5:25-30

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church

Throughout the Bible, we find examples, such as in 1 Peter 3:7. There is a profound and passionate call from God to husbands. Love your wives with all your heart! The husband has the sacred role of being the head of the family. He must embrace this responsibility with deep affection and kindness. He should always be attuned to his wife’s needs and emotions.

Husbands are called to embrace their wives with a love that mirrors the sacrificial devotion of Christ to the church. Paul elevates this call to breathtaking heights, passionately urging husbands to gaze upon Jesus as the unparalleled beacon of love. So, how did Christ love the church?

• He devoted Himself entirely for the church, laying down His life with unwavering love and purpose.
• He will always stand by our side, never abandoning or forsaking us, with unwavering love and support.
• He selflessly placed our needs above His own, demonstrating unparalleled love and devotion.
• He constantly prioritizes our well-being with unwavering dedication and fervor.
• He devoted himself tirelessly to our service.
• He passionately delivered God’s powerful message to us.
• He adored us with a fiery, unwavering love that knew no bounds.

A husband is called to love his wife in profound and respectful ways. He must never regard his wife as a subordinate, merely because he holds the role of head of the household. Jesus, the ultimate authority, exemplified true humility by serving others (Philippians 2). This establishes that Biblical leadership embodies servant leadership. Furthermore, Biblical love is characterized by its unconditional nature and self-sacrifice.

When husbands shower their wives with deep, unconditional love, it ignites a fire within them. This love makes it effortless for wives to honor and embrace their husbands’ leadership. In this dance of mutual respect and devotion, wives wholeheartedly submit with grace. This empowers husbands to rise in their roles as loving leaders. This creates a beautiful synergy. It fuels their bond.

Note also that Jesus loved us first (1 John 4:19). He fiercely embraced us when we were unlovable and undeserving. Within the turmoil of broken and struggling marriages, it’s all too common for both partners to feel wounded. They erect an impenetrable wall. This wall stifles vulnerability and hinders the first step towards reconciliation. Yet, husbands are called to embody love like Christ did, with unwavering boldness and abandon. This compels husbands to summon their courage. They must take the lead in expressing their love through profound actions towards their wives. This is especially important in times when their wives may stumble or falter. Hosea is a clear example of this. Over and over again he showed unconditional love to his wife, who betrayed him by being faithless.

As a loving leader, husbands can be the first one to apologize. They can be the first to approach their spouse to find a solution to an argument. They can also be the first to say “let’s pray about this.”

Reflective Moment: Wives, envision the countless ways your husband can ignite the flames of love within you! What tender gestures or heartfelt actions make your spirit soar, filling you with a profound sense of being cherished? Husbands, dig deep—how can you embody the essence of servant leadership in your relationship? Identify one powerful area. Demonstrate love in action to your wives this week. Craft a bond that is unbreakable and vibrant!

One of the other famous instructions to husbands in the Bible is 1 Peter 3:7: Husbands, be considerate as you live with your wives. Treat them with respect as the weaker partner. Also, see them as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. Do this so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

The husband’s goal (verses 26-27)

Paul passionately reveals the profound reason behind Christ’s unwavering love for the church. He cherished the church with a fierce desire for us to be sanctified, cleansed, and transformed into vessels of holiness. Jesus yearns to uplift us, guiding our growth in faith and deepening our relationship with God. His love is pure, selfless, and devoid of any selfish motivations, shining brightly as a testament to His boundless devotion.

In relationships, the phrase “I love you” is often uttered. However, it too frequently masks a hollowness far removed from genuine affection. This can stem from self-serving desires rather than true love. A striking example lies in the tale of a man who, with seductive words, claims, “I love you.” He suggests, “You should sleep with me.” Even in the absence of explicit declarations, the stirrings of lust often taint many proclamations of love. In 2 Samuel 13:4, Amnon boldly professes his “love” for Tamar. In the preceding verse, he is said to have “fallen in love” with her. Yet, in a cruel twist, he forces her into intimacy, only to be consumed by hatred afterward (2 Samuel 13:15). Can we truly label his feelings as love? What could drive such a rapid transformation in his heart?

The answer, undeniably, is that he never truly loved her in the profound way a man should love his spouse. His love was not unconditional; it lacked the essence of self-sacrifice that genuine love demands. He failed to elevate her needs and feelings above his own, instead harboring a mere lust for her. Amnon saw Tamar not as a beloved partner. He viewed her as an object to satiate his desires. He disregarded her wants and what was genuinely best for her. After gratifying his cravings, he callously cast her aside as if she were nothing more than refuse. The troubling reality of the modern notion of “falling in love” is its transience. One can just as easily fall out of it. This phenomenon is alarmingly prevalent. Couples lament, “we don’t love each other anymore.” This realization leads them down the painful path of divorce.

But true love transcends mere emotion; it is not solely about romantic infatuation. The flames of attraction and romance may flicker and dance throughout the journey of marriage. Genuine love is a powerful choice. It is a fervent commitment to embrace the well-being of another. This is true regardless of the sacrifices it demands from you.

According to these powerful verses, husbands are called to passionately edify their wives and uplift them in the faith. Here are a few inspiring ways husbands can embrace this divine duty:

• Lift your heart in fervent prayer for your beloved wife each day. Pour out your love and devotion with every word.
• Be a remarkable example of love, respect, and dedication. Inspire your wife through your actions. Let them ignite her passion for life. Strengthen the bond you share.
• Open the Bible with your beloved wife. Ignite a shared journey of faith and love. Explore its timeless wisdom together.
• Ignite your wife’s spirit with the powerful truth of Scripture! Tenderly wield the Word as a loving guide, steering her back when she may wander.
• Embrace the delicate nuances of your wife’s vulnerabilities, for it is within these tender moments that love deepens and strengthens.

Reflective Thought: Wives, envision how impactful it would be for your husbands to uplift you. They can support you in your spiritual journey with the Lord! What is that one heartfelt action you long for them to take to deepen your relationship with God? Husbands, think deeply about this. Choose just one powerful way to inspire your wife’s growth in the Lord this week. Help nurture her spiritual journey. Singles, consider the transformative power of this passage and how it resonates with your own life and current circumstances!

Love your wives as your own body

Here is yet another profound testament to the depths of love a husband should have for his wife. He should cherish her as if she were an extension of himself. He should nurture her with the same fervor and dedication as he tends to his own needs. He could even show more heartfelt devotion!

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Cross Reference:

• Colossians 3:19
• 1 Peter 3:7

Discussion Questions

• What is the husband’s responsibility?
• With what kind of love? How did Christ love the church?
• How is this different than the world’s standard? What kind of love do most worldly husbands have?
• What other job do the husbands have (helping to edify/cleanse their wives)?
• What other degree are we to love our wives (as much as our own body)?
• Why does it say “he who loves his own wife, loves himself”?
• When must a husband love the wife? What if she is being unsubmissive? What if she is doing wrong?
• How can a husband nourish and cherish the wife?
• How successful do you think a marriage following this pattern would be?

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