It Starts Small

We continue our study of 2 Corinthians 6. Paul has turned his attention from defending himself to the Corinthians. Paul desired open communication with them.

¹¹ We have spoken openly to you, Corinthians; our heart has been opened wide. ¹² We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. ¹³ I speak as to my children; as a proper response, open your heart to us.

2 Corinthians 6:11-13

We have spoken freely to you… our hearts are wide open

2 Corinthians is a profoundly intimate letter that Paul crafted with heartfelt emotion. In its lines, he pours out his soul, recounting his past experiences and deep connections with the Corinthians. Paul reveals the driving forces behind his every action. He shows unwavering love and genuine concern for these beloved individuals. Even when he needed to offer rebuke or correction, he cared deeply. He always kept their best interests at the forefront. His purpose was openly transparent. He had no ulterior motives or hidden agendas. Every emotion was raw. Every word was a testament to his dedication.

In his heartfelt communication, Paul passionately embraced the belief that the simple truth reigns supreme. This open and transparent dialogue allowed the Corinthians to grasp the very essence of Paul’s intent. No barriers stood in their way, and miscommunication was cast aside, paving the path for genuine understanding and connection.

Arrogance leads to nothing but strife,
but wisdom is gained by those who take advice.

Proverbs 13:10

Many an argument break out because of misunderstandings:

• I thought you meant…
• I didn’t know that you…
• You didn’t tell me that…
• I assumed that…
• You should have known I wanted you to…

Open and explicit communication eliminates the frustrating guessing game of attempting to interpret another person’s vague hints. Far too many relationships tread in that murky area of unclear exchanges. It resembles an intricate dance filled with subtle clues and layered meanings. This constant ambiguity is mentally draining. It leads to significant issues. These issues could easily be sidestepped with heartfelt communication.

Practice clear, truthful, and loving communication with others. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t expect others to read your mind. Be careful about making presumptions.

In return widen your hearts to us also

Paul fervently yearns for a profound exchange. He requests that in return for his open and loving communication, they also embrace this heartfelt connection. He desires for them to nurture him with the same fervor and care that he showers upon them. He seeks a transformative dialogue, flourishing in healthy and uplifting ways. Communication is an intricate circle. The essence of your interactions shapes the responses you receive. This creates a vibrant tapestry of mutual understanding and affection.

First, take an earnest look at your own communication if you find yourself frustrated with how your spouse or another person in your life interacts with you. Embrace the role of the change-maker! Understand that the energy you put out into the world will come back to you. When you shift your approach, you are not just changing the dynamic. You are inspiring a transformation in how they perceive and respond to you.

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Cross-References:

• Colossians 4:6
• Proverbs 12:18
• Psalm 19:14
• Proverbs 25:11

Reflective Questions:

• Can you summarize some of the things Paul has communicated with the Corinthians so far in this letter?
• Why is open communication important in building relationships?
• If there is a problem in a relationship is it better to “let time heal” the wound and let it be or attack it head on? Why?
• Why are many people hesitant to widen their hearts and truly share with others what they feel?
• What was Paul calling for the Corinthians to do?

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¹⁴ Do not be yoked together with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? ¹⁵ What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? ¹⁶ And what agreement does the temple of God have with idols? For we are the temple of the living God, as God said:

I will dwell
and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
¹⁷ Therefore, come out from among them
and be separate, says the Lord;
do not touch any unclean thing,
and I will welcome you.
¹⁸ And I will be a Father to you,
and you will be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

Paul then says something profound.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers

A yoke is not just a simple tool. It is a powerful symbol of unity. It binds two mighty oxen together. With this ancient device, they are compelled to work in perfect harmony. They channel their strength in unison. They tear through the earth while plowing a field. Neither one can wander off into freedom, for they are entwined in a shared purpose. Together, they form an indomitable team. They are driven by a single vision. They are inseparable and relentless in their quest to conquer the land.

Paul passionately illustrates the vital nature of relationships between believers and unbelievers. He emphasizes that a believer must never shackle himself to an unbeliever. To do so jeopardizes one’s freedom to pursue God’s divine will. It also risks being swept away into a perilous path that leads away from truth and purpose.

This applies to many areas of life. The most obvious examples are romantic relationships and business partnerships.

Consider, for a moment, a Christian businessman facing a critical juncture. An unbeliever expresses a desire to partner with him, a seemingly enticing proposition, yet fraught with peril. Their fundamentally different worldviews could lead to a clash of values. The unbeliever may prioritize profit over principles. This could include advocating for unethical practices that compromise integrity. Examples include taking bribes, deceiving customers, denying refunds, peddling defective products, and skirting taxes. The Christian is thrust into a dilemma. He can yield to this pressure and sin. Alternatively, he can champion righteousness, knowing it will ignite fierce conflict within the business. Standing firm for what is right may seem noble. Yet, it risks overwhelming him. It creates turmoil within the management team. The relentless struggle to uphold his values takes a toll.

It also applies to romantic relationships, marrying and dating. Let us look at why believers and unbelievers are incompatible for marriage.

Paul contrasts believers and unbelievers

Paul here makes five contrasts here as to why believers should not be bound together with unbelievers.

Righteousness vs lawlessness – A powerful clash unfolds between righteousness and lawlessness! Believers are adorned with the magnificent righteousness of Christ, shining brightly in a world overshadowed by darkness. In stark contrast, unbelievers find themselves shackled by sin, trapped in its relentless grip. The very direction, purpose, and vision of their lives stand in fierce opposition. They navigate the tumultuous waters of existence.

Light vs darkness – Jesus has illuminated the souls of believers, revealing the radiant truth of His love. Meanwhile, unbelievers remain ensnared in shadows, shackled by sin and blind to the magnificent reality that awaits them. Our Savior cautioned us to stay vigilant against “blind guides” (Matthew 15:14). In the intricate dance of a dating relationship, both partners often share fervent advice on various life issues. It would be utterly unjust to engage in such a dynamic without truly heeding each other’s perspectives. However, doing so without discernment risks following a blind guide in a world filled with brilliance.

Christ vs Belial (that is Satan) – We must remember that we cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). There is no middle ground in this battle for our souls! We are either wholly devoted to Christ or sadly ensnared by Satan. There can be no compromise, no partnership between the forces of light and darkness. Choose your allegiance with fervor!

Believer vs unbeliever – From 2 Corinthians 5:17, we are powerfully reminded. The believer emerges as a stunning new creation. They shed the old and embrace the glorious new! There is no room for mixing the old with the new. The believer struggles with the remnants of the old flesh nature. At the same time, they thrive in the vibrancy of the new nature. In stark contrast, the unbeliever is shackled to the sin nature, devoid of this divine transformation. This confrontation truly paints a riveting picture: two against one!

If you have faith in God, then you recognize Him as the mighty Creator. He is the One who brought you into existence with a profound purpose. One day, you will stand before Him. He is the supreme being of the universe and the King of Kings. He now reigns gloriously on the throne. Let this unwavering belief ignite your spirit. Let it guide every facet of your life. Let it influence every decision you make with conviction. For those who do not share this faith, they remain blind to the truth of His purpose and power.

The worldviews are completely incompatible.

Temple of God vs idols – As fervent believers, our very bodies stand as sacred temples of the Holy Spirit! We are called to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to our Creator, embracing the divine purpose. In stark contrast, unbelievers pursue fleeting fleshly desires. They chase after lust, wealth, and false security. They yearn for extravagant homes, relentless education, career advancement, and the enticing allure of fame. These paths are incompatible, drawing us away from the holiness we are meant to embody!

Even after that, he passionately quotes God’s command for us to be separate from the world. Romans 12:2 urges us not to conform to the worldly ways that surround us. We are called to be distinctly set apart and fully dedicated to God. How can we truly be set apart for Him if we become entangled in a dating relationship with an unbeliever?

The dangers of unequal yoking

Can two walk together
without agreeing to meet?

Amos 3:3

Shouldn’t your nearest and dearest passionately align with you on the fundamental truths of life? If two souls do not share the same convictions on essential matters, challenges will inevitably arise. How will these conflicts ever find resolution? More often than not, it will be the steadfast believer who surrenders, yielding time and again to maintain harmony.

Marriage is the ultimate expression of intimacy and significance in your life—a profound bond that shapes your very existence. The one you choose to marry will change the course of your journey. They will leave an indelible mark on your soul. Your spouse will be your daily muse, inspiring and influencing you in both monumental and subtle ways. However, entwining your life with an unbeliever can lead to profound discord in nearly every aspect of your shared existence. Here are some poignant examples:

• How to spend your money
• How to raise your children
• How to spend your free time
• What careers to pursue

The list of potential disagreements are endless. One’s worldview affects everything about one’s life, every decision that one makes. If you marry an unbeliever, you are entering a dangerous situation. This may stunt your spiritual growth. Alternatively, it could lead you away from the Lord completely.

This definitely includes dating/courtship relationships. Those involved in these dating relationship are clearly bound together. That is why when the relationship ends it is called “breaking up”. You don’t “break up” something that is not bound. The girlfriend would be very angry if her boyfriend had several girlfriends. Why? Because they are bound together, yoked together. They have committed themselves to each other, even if only for a period of time.

Dating relationships will also bring an emotional bond. The two sides rely on each other for support and call each other when they need help. Why? Because they are emotionally bound. Also, many times this emotional bond will lead to physical intimacy. It doesn’t always lead to that. However, the real temptation is possible. It is enhanced by the fact that one side doesn’t have godly morals. It is already hard for believers to resist temptation and stay pure. It is much harder when one is not a believer.

Go out from their midst and be separate from them

God passionately calls believers to a vibrant life of holiness! We are meant to be in the world, yet distinctly not a part of it. Do not allow the overwhelming tide of culture and the secular system to infiltrate your life and heart. God fervently desires our sanctification—this means being set apart! We must separate ourselves from sin. We should dedicate ourselves wholly to God. Let us embrace the extraordinary purpose He has for each of us.

Is there an area of your life where you are flirting with the world? Are you placing a higher love and priority on something in the world than God? God is calling you today to place Him as the highest priority in your life. He wants your full heart. Be devoted to Him above all else. Separate yourselves from anything in this world which is distracting you from following God 100%.

I will welcome you and be a father to you – Life consists of choices. We can choose this world or we can choose God. If we choose Him, He will welcome us and be a father to us. God desires to have this relationship with us. The question is whether we will seek after Him or something else.

The most important relationship we will ever have is with God. The second most important is your spouse. Keep the right priority. Do not elevate marriage above God. But honor Him in your marriage.

Biblical reasons not to date an unbeliever. A summary of the issues.

Biblical mandate. The Bible is clear. It instructs us not to be bound together with unbelievers. Dating is definitely a form of being bound together. This one is all that is necessary to avoid it. When there is a clear Biblical command, we should obey. The others below reinforce this point and shed light as to the reasons for it.
(2 Corinthians 6:14-18)

Believers should form close relationships with other believers in order to receive encouragement in their own spiritual walks. If you date an unbeliever, you miss the best chance to form a close relationship. A companion can help us spiritually. (The positive side is to build godly relationships, especially this very close one.) (Hebrews 10:23-25, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 13:20)

Bad company corrupts good morals. Believers are commanded clearly to avoid spending a lot of time with worldly people. It will influence the believer and hurt his relationship to God. (Avoid ungodly relationships. Be careful with someone so close who has such a big influence on us).
(1 Corinthians 15:33, Proverbs 13:20)

Dating an unbeliever will cause a lot of disagreement on key issues (Amos 3:3). The two cannot have a close, personal relationship without something giving way. Someone will be unsatisfied.

Counsel. What does godly, Christian counsel say? It is extremely likely if you get counsel from mature believers you will be counseled not to date an unbeliever. This is a form God uses to protect us and we should listen to it.
(Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 15:22, Proverbs 19:20, Proverbs 12:15)

We are commanded to put God first and seek Him first in our lives. We are to do everything for His glory. Dating an unbeliever is an attempt to satisfy our own desires and hope God will agree. We should instead ask what God desires and do it.
(Matthew 6:33, Colossians 3:2-3)

There are many biblical examples of believers led into temptation and sin. Despite their belief, they could not handle it and fell. There are also countless examples outside the Bible. The likely consequences are too dangerous and serious to ignore.
(Genesis 19:12-14, Judges 16, 1 Kings 11:4-6)

It is extremely unlikely an informed believer will be able to date an unbeliever “in faith” with a clear conscience. Therefore it should be avoided. (Romans 14:23, Acts 24:16)

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Cross References:

• Amos 3:3
• 1 Kings 11:4-6
• 1 Corinthians 15:33
• Proverbs 13:20
• Deuteronomy 7:3-5
• Psalm 106:35
• 1 Corinthians 10:31

Reflective Questions

• Why does Paul use the illustration of a yoke? What does this imagery convey?
• What does it mean to be unequally yoked with unbelievers?
• What are some examples of unequal yoking?
• What five contrasts does Paul make between believers and unbelievers?
• What do these contrasts show us about the fundamental problems with yoking with an unbeliever?
• How does this apply to marriage?
• Does it apply to dating/courtship?
• What would you say to someone who says, “I am only dating an unbeliever. I will not marry him?”
• What Biblical advice could you give to someone who hopes to marry an unbeliever and then convert her to Christianity?
• What are some of the practical reasons why it is dangerous for believers to marry or date unbelievers?
• What other areas can unequal yoking apply to besides marriage?
• How do verses 16b-17 apply to this situation?
• What is the result in verse 18 when believers follow God’s principles?

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