It Starts Small

We continue Paul’s letter and walk into chapter 2. It is a continuation of the previous chapter. Paul continues and is speaking to the Corinthians and us that sometimes love hurts.

2 In fact, I made up my mind about this: I would not come to you on another painful visit. ² For if I cause you pain, then who will cheer me other than the one being hurt by me? ³ I wrote this very thing so that when I came I wouldn’t have pain from those who ought to give me joy, because I am confident about all of you that my joy will also be yours. ⁴ For I wrote to you with many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart—not to cause you pain, but that you should know the abundant love I have for you.

2 Corinthians 2:1-5

I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you

Paul had already had one confrontation with the Corinthians. As we saw in 1:23, he wished to “spare” them. Another uncomfortable meeting would have caused stress all around. Instead he gave them time and space to contemplate on his previous communications and repent.

For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained?

Paul had caused some “pain” to the Corinthians before. This pain was brought about because Paul rebuked them for their sin. Some of them had apparently sided with the false teachers against Paul and some were also living in unrepentant sin.

Confronting sin is not pleasant for anyone. Guilt and conviction is painful. But it is necessary. Paul had confronted them because he loved them.

⁴ For I wrote to you with many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart—not to cause you pain, but that you should know the abundant love I have for you.

2 Corinthians 2:4
(Bold for emphasis)

He wanted to see them be faithful followers of Jesus. He wanted to see them thrive spiritually.

He did not receive any joy or satisfaction from rebuking them. In fact, he says “who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained?” In other words, their repentance would bring joy to Paul. Nothing else could fix the ache he felt in his heart. It wasn’t about being right. It wasn’t about winning the debate. It was about restoring the sinner which would make Paul more happy than anything else.

¹⁹ My brothers and sisters, if any among you strays from the truth, and someone turns him back, ²⁰ let that person know that whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.

James 5:19-20

Confronting sin is a painful experience. Like discipline it seems “not joyful but sorrowful, but in the end it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

12 Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us,

Hebrews 12:1

Have you ever experienced the sadness and ache in your heart over the wrong doings of others? Not because they have done you wrong, but because you desire for them see their wrong, repent and return to the Lord. This is where Paul was with the Corinthians.

Paul wrote to them first before visiting, hoping that they would repent. If they did then his visit would not be a painful one, but a joyful one.

Paul was motivated by love. Verse 4 is the key of this section. From this verse we see Paul’s motivation. He was motivated by love. In this verse we get a glimpse into Paul’s heart. His letter was written from “much affliction and anguish of heart.” We see Paul’s level of concern from the Corinthians. Their sin caused Paul very real sadness. It hurt his heart to witness their hard hearts. Paul was in anguish, even to the level of shedding “many tears.”

This is what a shepherd should be like. He loved the sheep deeply. For Paul, it wasn’t for the money. It wasn’t for the fame. It wasn’t just out of duty. It was out of love. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13 that all the ministry in the world is nothing without love. Ministry done without love is meaningless.

There are many possible reasons for confronting others. Here are a few:

• Wanting to prove that you are right.
• Wanting to “win” a debate.
• Wanting to cause pain with your words to those who have caused you pain.
• Wanting to make yourself look good.
• A prideful desire to set yourself up as the authority.

⁸ Finally, all of you be like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble,

1 Peter 3:8

Peter tells us that of these are wrong motivations to confront people. The correct motivation is a heart of love, wanting to see the other person grow spiritually. This is done out of compassion and humility.

What kind of a shepherd are you? Do you love the sheep as Paul did? While you may not be a shepherd in the same sense that Paul was you are still surrounded by sheep. They may be your children or family members or Christian friends. When they sin, how do you respond? Do you attack and humiliate them? If so, that is wrong. Are you apathetic, just living your own life and ignoring what others do? That is also wrong. The sin of the sheep around you should cause you anguish. It should cause sadness of the heart. Those reactions show that you really care. And then when you care you will want to pray for that person. And you will want to use Scripture to guide them back to the right path.

Love hurts. It can hurt us when we see those we love living in sin. And it hurts when we confront sin. But it is necessary. Just make sure that when you confront sin, you are doing it out of love! Pray and ask God to reveal to you your own motivations.

Reflective Questions:

• What painful visit does Paul refer to?
• Why did Paul want to avoid such a visit again?
• What did he do to try to avoid it?
• Why did Paul feel pain? What can you learn about his character and heart from this?
• What motivated Paul to write to them?
• What kind of things should cause us pain and joy?
• How can we develop a heart of love and compassion for others?

Paul then goes into a lesson about forgiveness.

⁵ If anyone has caused pain, he has caused pain not so much to me but to some degree—not to exaggerate—to all of you. ⁶ This punishment by the majority is sufficient for that person. ⁷ As a result, you should instead forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. ⁸ Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. ⁹ I wrote for this purpose: to test your character to see if you are obedient in everything. ¹⁰ Anyone you forgive, I do too. For what I have forgiven—if I have forgiven anything—it is for your benefit in the presence of Christ, ¹¹ so that we may not be taken advantage of by Satan. For we are not ignorant of his schemes.

2 Corinthians 2:5-11

God’s Word is filled with His command to forgive others as He has forgiven us. This is not a suggestion. This is a command.

³² And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Ephesians 4:32

¹³ bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.

Colossians 3:13

The one who conceals his sins
will not prosper,
but whoever confesses and renounces them
will find mercy

Proverbs 28:13

Let us dig into what Paul speaks to the Corinthians.

“Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you.”

If anyone has caused pain – The Greek text implies that someone indeed caused pain. It is presumed to be the case with this person or group of people.

He has caused it not to me – Paul does not seek personal revenge or retaliation. His own anguish, while significant and real, is not the focus.

But in some measure to all of you

When one person or group in a church sin it affects others. It causes pain. It causes the church to lose some of its testimony and witness. It causes discomfort, unpleasantness, and stress. In a home when one person sins can make the whole home an unpleasant place to be. “Don’t ruin it for everyone,” a parent may tell a grumbling child. And the same is true in the church. No one is in isolation. So the actions of one, affect all. For a biblical example, consider the sin of Achan. Because of his disobedience the nation of Israel lost a battle and people died (1 Chronicles 2:7).

Beyond this when one sins, it can can cause others to stumble.

For such a one this punishment by the majority is enough

In 1 Corinthians, Paul had laid down rules. These were guidelines on how to exercise church discipline on the sinning brother (1 Corinthians 5).

This is probably what is referenced by the phrase “punishment by the majority.” The sin of this individual would have been told to the whole church. Paul says that it “is enough.” The goal of church discipline is restoration. The hope is that the offending person will repent. Paul said it was enough. He then encouraged the Corinthians to forgive. It is evident that the person had repented.

And that reminds us that discipline is not about revenge. It is not about punitive punishment. Neither should it go on and on. Godly discipline (whether in the church or in the family) is loving, limited, and goal oriented.

In the game of hockey a player who breaks the rules is sent to the “penalty box.” A penalty is generally two minutes long. After the penalty has been served, the player can be restored to the team in good standing. The goal is that the player will learn the lesson and join his team again while keeping the rules.

The goal of discipline in the church or family is similar. It is to restore the person into good standing with the right attitude. The discipline is limited in that it does not go on forever. Once the person repents, the discipline is deemed to have been successful and the person is restored. And the discipline is loving because it is done with the best interests of the offending party in mind.

Turn to forgive and comfort him

God has no limits in mercy, grace, and forgiveness. No matter how grievous a person’s sin is, God is willing to forgive and we should be too. A lack of forgiveness is one the most destructive sins known to man. Relationships are destroyed not because of a sin. Everyone has sin. They are destroyed because of a lack of forgiveness.

Note that they were not only to forgive the offender, but also to comfort him. Real forgiveness goes beyond ignoring the sin, remaining silent, or not taking revenge. Real forgiveness will be expressed in an outpouring of love for the sinner.

If they did not forgive Paul says that this person may have become overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Is it possible to be excessively sorrowful? Apparently so! True repentance should lead to joy. But joy is difficult if people around you still blame you. They may shun you because of the sin.

How may it affect a brother or sister who repents if their sin is brought up and replayed over and over again?

If you keep bringing up a person’s past sins repeatedly, it can lead to discouragement. This can even cause that person to become depressed. He may conclude that there is no forgiveness and no joy in repentance. If he continually faces judgment from his Christian family, he might lose hope. It would not be surprising to see him give up and turn to the world.

When someone repents, forgive! Don’t hold it over them. Don’t keep bringing it up. Don’t keep a mental list of their sin and pull it out periodically to attack them. Restore the person into fellowship and comfort him, letting him know the full abundance of God’s grace and mercy. We are called to forgive not just little sins, but big sins because that is what Christ has forgiven us.

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive. – C.S. Lewis

Should you forgive a person who does not ask for it and is not repentant?

I beg you, reaffirm your love for him

When you forgive someone, let them know it! Don’t let them wonder. Don’t leave room for confusion.

¹⁸ There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment.^[a] So the one who fears is not complete in love.

1 John 4:18

Let your love drive out all fear and doubt. God makes it clear that He loves us.

⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

And He makes it clear that He forgives us when we confess. The father of the prodigal son left no doubt in his son’s mind that he was completely forgiven. When he saw his son returning, he ran to him! He kissed him! He gave him his robe, his ring, and had a feast to celebrate. That is what perfect love looks like. The son had no doubt of his standing. He knew he was forgiven.

Real forgiveness is not cold. It is not silent. If a person hears you say, “I forgive you,” but still observes a cold and hard heart, he would be right to doubt the sincerity of your words. He needs to see warmth and openness. Do not just say that you forgive. Truly forgive and show it by action.

That I might test your obedience

Paul wanted to see if the Corinthians would obey him by fully forgiving and restoring the sinning brother.

Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive

Paul was not asking them to do something that he was not willing to do. He would also forgive. There had to be complete forgiveness on all sides to bring about a unified, joyful fellowship again. Paul knew that Christ was watching him. Everything he did was in “Christ’s presence.” In the end, this is the ultimate motivation for forgiveness.

⁶⁰ He knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” And after saying this, he fell asleep.

Acts 7:60

Stephen was a great example of this as he learned from Jesus’ words on the cross and imitated that same example by saying, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

That we would not be outwitted by Satan

Where God is working, Satan is also likely working. We see that in the Corinthian church. Paul went to Corinth and established the church. People were turning to Christ in this very immoral and pagan town. Satan didn’t want to give up his stronghold. So he attacked the church. He tempted the believers will all kinds of temptations: immorality, pride, and division. Many of these had been dealt with. But Satan did not give up. Another weapon in his arsenal is the sin of unforgiveness. This is like the residual sin. For Satan, it is the sin which keeps on giving.

Division in the church and the family is often caused by unforgiveness. Division keeps the church from being effective for Christ. And a lack of forgiveness will keep you from being effective for Christ as well. Satan wants to feed you excuses for not forgiving.

What are some excuses or reasons people give for not forgiving?

• He doesn’t deserve forgiveness. This is actually true! No one does. Neither do you. And yet God forgave you.
• You don’t understand how much he hurt me? Probably also true. Other people may not understand, but God understands. And He still commands it. Jesus paid for every one of those sins with His own blood.
• He keeps sinning again and again! Jesus said to forgive seventy times seven times (meaning unlimited).
• I will forgive him, but I don’t have to talk to or be with him! That is not forgiveness. Forgiveness includes restoration.

If you expect God to let go of your sins and forgive you, then you must also do the same to others.

Reflective Questions:

• How had this person’s actions affected the church?
• What might this person have done?
• How might this person have been punished already?
• What can we learn from this passage about forgiveness?
• What is the relationship between forgiveness and comfort?
• What does this teach us about what true forgiveness looks like?
• What can we learn about this person from the fact that he demonstrated “excessive sorrow?”
• Why do people find it so difficult to forgive those who have hurt them?
• What was Paul asking them to be obedient to in verse 9?
• Explain the phrase “what I have forgiven… has been for your sake in the presence of Christ.”
• Based on the context, what schemes was Satan plotting in the Corinthian church?
• What is the result of unforgiveness? Why should believers forgive?
• Is there someone you need to forgive?

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See Also: Blog Series: Forgiveness

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