It Starts Small

Are broken relationships distracting you from God’s Calling?

Today we consider what God reveals about conversation killers and sharing truth with love.

² I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to agree in the Lord. ³ Yes, I also ask you, true partner, to help these women who have contended for the gospel at my side, along with Clement and the rest of my coworkers whose names are in the book of life.

Philippians 4:2-3

Better communication leads to better relationships.

God calls us to speak truth. He calls us to speak in love (Ephesians 4:15). In order to communicate with care, we need to avoid responses that kill our conversation. The four conversation killers are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.

Criticism is often used when we disagree, disapprove, object or judge other people’s thoughts or actions.

Defensiveness is often employed when someone disagrees, disapproves, objects or judges us.

Criticism and defensiveness place our conversations into a destructive cycle that repeats until one person gives up, shuts down or walks away.

Contempt is an expression of disgust or dislike. (Eye rolling, sarcasm)

Stonewalling is a refusal to communicate.

These communication killers are destructive to conversation and we need to guard our hearts and take action to not use these to destroy conversations. We need to make every effort to communicate with patience, compassion, and a willingness to listen – whether you agree or not with what is being said.

Euodia and Syntche partnered with Paul in the spread of the gospel message. He urged them to communicate with care. These sisters in Christ were encouraged to settle their disagreement and focus on their calling to influence the world for Christ.

Courageously communicate with care by making these questions apart of all your communications:

• Is God encouraging me to reconcile with someone I am in odds with?
• AM I quick to judge and criticize people for their faults?
• Has someone judged or criticized me and does their judgment have merit?
• AM I willing to thank others for their honest evaluations? Do I need to ask for forgiveness or do I need a healthy boundary in order to guard my heart?

God wants us to be at peace with others and maintain our focus on spreading the gospel.

Practice courageous communication by reaching out to someone who has criticized you. Thank them for their honest opinion and ask that individual to pray for you as you strive to change.

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