It Starts Small

³² And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. Ephesians 4:32

How often do we define our lives by life before and after a deep hurt?

How many today are stuck in the agonizing and horrific season of pain and suffering? The conversation that stunned you. The shocking day of discovery. The divorce. The wrongful death that was so unfathomable you still can not believe they are gone. The break up. The day your friend walked away. The hateful conversation. The remark now branded in your memory and heart. The day everything change.

That “thing” that marked a moment in time. Life before. Life Now. Is it even possible to create a beautiful life again? I deeply understand this defining devastation in a very personal way. When your heart has been shattered and reshaped into something that does not seem to fit in your chest, and the word forgiveness seems unrealistic to bring into conversation.

Friends, can I share something I have learned in my own journey?

Forgiveness is possible, but it will not always seem or feel possible.

Forgiveness can be a double edged sword.

It is not easy to give. It is easy to get. We are freely given forgiveness from the Lord, but when we refuse to give it, something heavy starts to form inside of us. It is the weight of forgiveness that was not allowed to be passed through us. I have greatly misunderstood a profound aspect of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not something that is hard that we have an option of doing. Forgiveness is hard won that we have an opportunity to participate in! Forgiveness does not rise an dfall based on my efforts, maturity, forced resistance, or gentle feelings that are real one moment and fake the next. We can not authentically give the kind of forgiveness to others that Jesus has given to us.

⁷ Now grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Ephesians 4:7

My ability to forgive is made possible when I lean into what Jesus has already done. His grace for me, flows through me. Forgiveness is not an act of determination. Its is only made possible through my cooperation with Jesus. This partnership and cooperation was the missing ingredient I had spent the better part of 20 years looking for. This cooperation in serving and surrendering to Jesus is what makes Ephesians 4:32 possible:

³² And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

God knew we could not forgive on our own. He made a way that is not dependant on anything we do. A way to grab onto Jesus’ outstretched arms, bloody from the crucifixion and dripping in redemption. He forgives what we could never make right. He makes a way for us to cooperate with Him in His work of forgiveness. To not only give but also to receive.

The person or persons you thought of earlier, that pain and suffering, it is time for it to end. There has been enough damage done. You no longer have to be held hostage. You get to decide how you will move forward. If you are like I was, knee deep in pain and resonate with those feelings of resistance like I did, let me tell you forgiveness is possible.

Today, think about forgiveness. What is your initial gut reaction to that word and action? Are you ready to give Jesus cooperation in allowing Him to work His forgiveness through you? Today, seek out and invite God in. Speak to Him about your reservations, hesitations and questions.

The last few days I spoke about shame. It is a huge stumbling block when we start out on our discipleship journey. I believe the second stumbling block is unforgiveness. There are so many brothers and sisters stuck, wandering in the wilderness and I believe, based on my own experience and God’s Word, these two reasons are why. The next few days I was to share my journey into forgiveness.

Forgiveness Part 1: Why is Forgiveness and Double Edged Sword?
Forgiveness Part 2: When Unchangeable Feels Unforgivable
Forgiveness Part 3: The Cure for a Heavy Heart
Forgiveness Part 4: My Anger
Forgiveness Part 5: Transformed Feet and Eyes