It Starts Small

There’s quite a few long term problems from being on chemo over a year. One of the is how it changed my taste buds. Every now and then I get a huge craving for sweets. I’m not some healthy person by not eating sweets. I don’t eat sweets because they’re like nails on a chalk board. I think it’s probably the same response as normal people when they eat something super bitter. It’s like an ice pick to the ear. That’s the way sweet stuff tastes. I know, sad day. But every now and the I get a craving for sweets.

Where I work we get to have a soft serve shake. I look over the list of what we can make. German chocolate cake, vanilla orange dreamcickle, almond joy, strawberry cookies and cream…. All my favorite things! I don’t dare make one because I know I won’t consume it. One taste of the sweetness and it makes me shiver. Why am I sharing this, because I started to get hungry.

Have you all ever been spiritually starving? You get a small whiff or smell of truth and you want a whole seven course meal. I was starting to getting spiritually hungry. I wanted to know even more.

I thought about this whole relationship thing and a part of a verse came to my mind. It’s a race. I don’t know about you but I don’t run. Another thing about cancer, 19 inches of my femur was removed and replaced. I have a fake knee. Six inches of my shin bone was replaced to build a cage to support my knee and femur. My ortho put the fear in me that my feet were to stay firmly on the ground. One wrong twist, a fall, doing things that took my feet off the ground would result in a broken femur. If I broke my femur it would spiral shatter and there’d no longer be any bone left to attach the….I don’t know what to call it, fake parts to. I’d loose my entire leg.

So no, I don’t run. Even if I try it looks silly because my leg disconnects from brain function and says what is this you’re trying to do? Before cancer, I hated running. What was the point? I hated track for that reason. We always had to run in some dumb race.

Anyways, off that rabbit trail, what was this race? and how did it tie into a relationship?

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

So we are running, but what are we running towards? What’s the end?

I thought about this section of verses for awhile. Life is the race. What is the point and purpose of life? According to this, life had a goal. That goal is the will of God, and Jesus was the author of our faith. Life is finding, following, and finishing the will of God. We find it through Jesus.

Hmmm… I knew there was a treasure of truth in the middle of this. I could see another circular pattern. God has a purpose for my life. Jesus reveals the purpose. And the purpose is revealed through truth in the Word of God.

But How? How does faith grow. The obvious answer was through Jesus, but how?

I reread the verses. In verse one, we learn that we are compassed with a great cloud of witnesses. Adrian Rodgers explained this as the saints of great faith who had gone before us were up in heaven cheering us on. We are motivated by their example of faith to us. They are the cheering section of our race. I thought about the list in the “Hall of Faith.” You can read it in Hebrews chapter 12.

I looked over the list of great Saints: Moses, Abraham, Able, Rehab, Mary… I knew these stories well. It was by their great faith God accomplished his will. They were all ordinary people. They all fell short just as much as I did. Yet, God chose them. Each of them had to first lay aside everything. Abraham was called into a foreign land and had to leave behind everything he knew.

The next part of that verse talks about laying aside the weight. Adrian Rodgers said this very well. You can’t run a race in rain gear. If you want to run a race you need to get rid of the weights. I had to ask myself what was holding me back. What was preventing my freedom from running this race. What was besetting in my life to cause me to be tripped up?

That’s when it occurred to me that I was already running the race. The last two months I had been confronting the very things that held me back. Locked my feet in cement and prevented me from running. Fear, guilt, shame, addiction…. It was the greatest enemy to having faith. I had to acknowledge who I was and that was done by discovering the characteristics of God. His character was a promise which started to transform my direction.

That very moment that I had decided life was a lie and everything I knew was a lie, was that moment I started shedding my rain gear. Each piece removed, Jesus was revealing himself, my Heavenly Father, and me. Each piece was a step in trust. Faith is building a relationship of trust with God. The more I began to believe and obey, the more understanding I was given spiritually. I had to get the sin out of my heart, completely turn away from it, and turn my eyes to my coach: Jesus.

This wasn’t a traditional race. It’s not a sprint. It’s a marathon of patience. I know everyone hates that word. But it’s a misunderstood word. I that verse above, we run with patience. The actual Hebrew translation is endurance. Run with endurance and keep your eyes on Jesus, the coach. Listen to his direction.

Faith is, faith in a Great God, not a great faith in God.

I didn’t have to have a great trust in God, I actually only needed the desire and endurance to develop and seek a relationship with him. To trust his truth. To trust his promises.

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17

When your eyes are right – you see Jesus

When your ears are right – he reveals His Father’s truth and will

When my heart is right – I believe, trust and obey.

So in order to “build” faith I needed to learn how to hear my coach. Only through him could I stay on the right path.